12 Things to NEVER do in Bed
From surprise rear attacks to three little words – what NOT to do (or say) in bed.
At this point, you probably have a pretty good grasp on the whole sex thing. Not to diss your moves, but it’s possible that despite your best intentions, you’re committing some serious bedroom faux pas. I consulted some helpful guys to come up with the 12 things to NEVER do in bed:
1. Don’t assume a guy wants fingers in his rear.
Number one on every guy’s list was to keep your fingers from going anywhere in or around their butts. Yes, it is true that because of the location of the prostate, anal stimulation is sexually pleasurable for most guys – and you’ve talked about it first, that’s one thing. But it’s also true most guys will feel shocked and uncomfortable if you dive in there with no warning or previous discussion of the matter.
2. Don’t say, “I love you” for the first time.
If you are going to drop the L-Bomb, don’t do it in the middle of sex.
3. Don’t talk about past partners.
No guy wants to think about you having sex with someone else. No matter what seemingly flattering comment you think you are making, you’re still talking about having sex with someone else.
4. Don’t cover up right after sex.
A huge turn off for a guy you’ve just slept with is showing blatant discomfort with him seeing you naked. i.e.: pulling the cover tight up over you, turning your back as you get dressed, or covering up your breasts with your arm. As one guy put in, “I was just inside of you, now you’re acting modest about me seeing your boobs, that’s just bizarre.” If you feel comfortable enough to have sex with him, you should feel comfortable enough to let him see you naked.
5. Don’t throw up.
If it’s a guy you’ve been with a while, whatever. But if it’s someone you’ve just started seeing, someone you just met, or someone you vowed to stop sleeping with because it’s bad for moral—when you’re drunk to the point you feel sick, you should not be making the decision to have sex.
6. Don’t pressure the penis.
Sometimes, for various reasons, boners are hard to come by. If you’ve been engaged in foreplay for a while and are ready for the main event but he’s clearly not, don’t complain or say anything along the lines of, “I’m ready now.” In the words of one man, “Once a girl makes a comment about me not being ready, or she tries to rush me, that’s it! Sex is out of the question.”