Orlando Bloom + Miranda Kerr Are No More. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Here's a picture of a kitten sticking its tongue out to get your mind off the fact that Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have announced that they're separating.

Orlando Bloom Miranda Kerr bling ring

Oh, man, seriously? What a way to kick off the weekend. Blast!

According to E! OnlineOrlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are calling it quits after three years of marriage. Said Orlando’s rep, “In a joint statement, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have announced that they have been amicably separated for the past few months. After six years together, they have recently decided to formalize their separation.” The statement went on to note, “Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support, and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family.”

Geez. Michelle Williams and Jason Segel… Jane Lynch and Lara Embry… Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones… 2013 has NOT been a good year for celebrity couples—or perhaps more accurately, for my favorite celebrity couples (except Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. It’s been a GREAT year for them, at least!). There’s a reason I’ve been keeping the NOOOOOOOOOOO! button readily accessible in my bookmarks bar all the time. All I can say is, Ellen and Portia better not announce that they’re splitting up, or I might have to do something drastic. Like hooking up a gigantic stereo system to my computer and broadcasting my NOOOOOOOOOOO! button usage to the heavens. Or something.

Read Just in Case You Aren’t Already Sick of Kimye, Here’s a Video of Kanye’s Proposal to Kim Kardashian

Orlando and Miranda started dating in late 2007; they made their first public appearance as a couple in 2008 at Doncaster Day at Sydney’s Randwick Racecourse. They announced in June 2010 that they had gotten engaged and tied the knot in an intimate, secret ceremony a month later. Their son, Flynn (who is ADORABLE) was born on January 6, 2011. I’m sure they’re going to make the co-parenting thing work just fine; they both seem to have their heads screwed on pretty firmly, and they don’t look miserable together or anything in the few public photos taken of them over the past six months. Miranda also had a lot of flattering things to say about her former hubbs in the November issue of Cosmo, noting, “When I saw Orlando on Broadway in Romeo and Juliet, I was blown away. For someone to be able to learn all that and hold the energy to do it every day, six days a week—I have so much respect for him.” She added, “We don’t run lines, though. We keep that very separate. That would be like me asking him to teach me how to catwalk.”

But still. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Y’know?

Anyhoo. Carry on. Here’s a picture of a kitten sticking its tongue out to get your mind off it:

Kitten sticking tongue out

Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor.

Photos: StarTraks Photo,


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