Meanie understands why your preparation for the MTV European Music Awards this weekend included taking a shower. Showers are to be expected before a major event, as one generally likes to be clean when walking the red carpet or accepting an award. However, Meanie is having a difficult time understanding why you felt the need to share that shower with the world via your somewhat questionable Instagram account. Were you really so pleased with yourself for being able to wash your own body that you needed everyone else to revel in it along with you?
Meanie suspects not.
The only reason one takes naked selfies (or, really, selfies of any variety) is to invite others to tell one how pretty or hot one looks. Additionally, you appear to have applied a full face of makeup before stepping into the shower. Correct Meanie if she is wrong, but typically it is the custom to apply one’s makeup AFTER one’s shower, is it not? Considering these two facts, Meanie can only assume that your shower selfie was a calculated move of the most gauche kind to present an opportunity for everyone to tell you how amazing you—which, let’s face it, Miley darling, is the last thing you need right now.
Don’t get Meanie wrong; Instagram can be a wonderful tool. Many social media platforms rely on text as their users’ way to stay in touch with all their friends, family, and other followers; Instagram, however, bears of the honor of being one of the first ones to put the emphasis primarily on images. Photographers, artists, and people who think in pictures as opposed to words rejoiced—and with good reason! Unfortunately, however, Meanie believes that Instagram has contributed to the phenomenon of oversharing in a way that the text-based platforms have not. Meanie is willing to bet that most people would not announce that they had just consumed a sandwich of epic proportions if they did not have the ability to share a picture of said sandwich.
A lot of celebrity Instagram accounts—or at least, most of the more interesting ones—show the world from their users’ point of view. Literally. Sure, there are selfies scattered here and there, but kittens like Lauren Conrad and Taylor Swift tend more often than not to share images of what they’re interested in at any given moment , or even simply things they saw out in the world that struck them as beautiful.
Miley, dear? Your Instagram, on the other hand, is almost entirely made up of selfies. It is narcissism at its worst, and it only serves to further draw the image of you as a young woman who has never had anyone tell her “no”—not once in her entire life. It is not a flattering portrait, and although you may call your many naysayers “haters,” Meanie urges you to listen to them. They may be right, and your Instagram account proves it. After all, if a picture is worth a thousand words, a thousand pictures all depicting only yourself speaks VOLUMES.
Please understand, Miley kitten, that Meanie has your best interests at heart. She has not forgotten your stunning cover of “Jolene”; you are, first and foremost, a singer. Your current image and its inherent narcissism, however, are overshadowing your talent, which ultimately will not serve you or your career well as time wears on.
Food for thought, kitten. Food for thought.