10 Questions I Have About Kmart’s Junk-Playing “Jingle Bells” Commercial

Is anyone else a little baffled by Kmart's latest ad? Y'know, the one with a whole bunch of dudes playing "Jingle Bells" with their junk?

The ad in question:

Perplexing, right? As such:

1. What were the rehearsals for this commercial like?

2. For that matter, what was the casting notice for this commercial like? “Wanted: Six males, 5’10” – 6’, quads and glutes of steel, previous experience with hand bells a plus?”

3. Are they actually playing bells with their junk? Or are they just shaking their goods around to a pre-recorded track?

4. What’s with the boxers on the guy third from the left? Is his junk wearing… is that a holiday tuxedo? For reals?

5. Does anyone actually own boxers that look like these?

6. If so, do they only own them because they were given as a gag gift? Is wearing holiday-themed underwear only possible if done ironically?

7. Is this commercial responsible for one or more of these gentlemen earning his SAG card?

8. How do you break it to your family that this is how you earned it? “Hey, Mom! Great news! I’m a professional actor now, thanks to my musically-gifted junk!”?

9. Does the fellow on the far right with the extremely high-pitched bell feel like he has to compensate for anything?

10. Does this ad actually make anyone want to go out and buy these boxers for anyone on their holiday list?

Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor. She is BAFFLED by this ad. Can anyone explain it to her? Please? Pretty, pretty please?

Tweet me! @luciapeters


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