En route to a lunch meeting, walking briskly, you almost bump (literally!) into a woman headed in your direction. “Excuse me,” you say, letting her pass realizing she’s not just a woman, but also a very beautiful one. She’s your type; brunette, athletic, light eyes, (at least, you said that was your type on your dating profile a few days ago). Well now she’s in your eyesight. What’re ya gonna do about it?
The synapses start firing, adrenaline is rushing, and your mind is screaming at you you, Talk to her! As you negotiate with yourself, she walks away — farther and farther away. Within moments she is gone forever. You let another one get away, man. Instead of talking to a woman that could potentially change your life, you’re standing there alone. Well, not completely alone, your pride is with you like an old high school buddy.
Ready for a cold, hard dose of truth? Starting a conversation is simple. Find someone you want to talk with. Initiate dialogue in a language you both understand (this part is important). When you are done speaking to your chosen person, patiently wait for them to say their part. The conversation has started. When one of the involved parties stops talking, the conversation is over. That completes the technical training on how to start and end a conversation. Simple enough. So why is it so difficult to start conversations?
Cold, hard truth dose #2: Conversations are hard to initiate because we live in fear: “Is she attracted to me??, “I’m not her type”, or “She doesn’t have time for me. We often feel we aren’t good enough: “Who am I to talk to her?” we say, when we should be saying, “Who am I NOT to talk to her?” You are good enough — and always have been! — but you have to believe it. We have amazing things to offer because we are amazing people. We need to own this, because when we do, we find new conversations are like talking to old friends: effortless and easy.
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