If I Ever Have a Nude Photo Scandal, I Hope I Deal With It As Well As Dylan Sprouse (Slightly NSFW)

How do you deal with a nude photo scandal? Like former Disney star Dylan Sprouse did, of course.

Dylan Sprouse

In case you missed it, one of Disney alum Dylan Sprouse’s exes leaked nude photos of the former Suite Life star on the Internet over the weekend—but hey, at least he’s dealing with it in the smartest way he could: With intelligence and humor.

Dylan’s Tumblr, BauSprouse, has become a somewhat unexpected treasure trove of thoughtful reflection on topics like fame and celebrity; now studying video game design at NYU, the former child star has a lot of smart things to say (see: Joe Jonas, “My Life As a Jonas Brother”). After giving himself a day or so to think things through, he took up his pen—or rather, his keyboard—to respond to the whole nude photo thing.

“First off,” he writes, ‘I will state that the reason I’m making light of the situation is because I don’t think what I did [taking the photos] was wrong. To be blunt, I was proud of my progress in the gym, thought I looked hot, and wanted to share it. I’m of the mindset that whoever you are, if you are proud of your body and want to show it off, so be it!” He continues, “There is an odd taboo with the human form (especially in the USA) and I don’t particularly think it’s a good thing to teach people that you should ‘hide yourself’ as something incredibly sacred. Blah blah blah, that’s a medieval notion.”

His next point: “The real problem here was not be me sending my pictures to someone, but rather, sending them to the WRONG someone. The real travesty is a misplaced trust, and while I am certainly to blame for it, it is a shame that my private life was somehow forcibly dragged into the public’s perception of me.” True that. He elaborates on that point, saying, “What is wrong is that, generally I try to stay cool and collected with my prose and a role model for kids (maybe not anymore shamefully) and this seemingly inconsequential act will likely affect the youth’s impression of me. Not only that, but I worry somewhat for my artistic integrity, and my academic integrity. Not exactly ideal, but I’m to blame and I’ll look this incident in the eye like a man. I did it, but I’d be damned if I didn’t own that sh*t like Beyonce would want me to.”

Read I’m Sorry, Target, But Refusing to Carry Beyonce’s New Album Because It Was Released Digitally First Is the Silliest Thing I’ve Ever Heard

He also helpfully provides us with a tl;dr—or a summary for the folks who looked at his post and thought, “too long, didn’t read”—that sums it up as follows: “I was proud of myself and my progress since I was 14 and husky, I’m not proud of this incident’s potential lasting effects on my academic and artistic integrity. But I’m making the best of it through humor”… and (NSFW alert!), he notes, he’s getting a t-shirt made of the most revealing photo:

Dylan Sprouse nude photo scandal t-shirt

And THAT, my friends, is how you own something like this. Seriously. In the event that I ever have a nude photo scandal of my own, I hope I have the wherewithal to deal with it as well as Dylan is. Would that we could all be so well-adjusted—especially those who grow up in the spotlight. Amiright?

You can read Dylan’s whole entry over at his Tumblr—it’s definitely worth it.

Anyhoo, carry on. Happy Tuesday, Bettys!

Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor.

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