7 Things We Learned from Rebecca Black’s New Song, “Saturday” (Yes, “Saturday.” For Real.)

Well, well, well. If "Saturday" is to believe, "Friday" night's shenanigans weren't all that wholesome, were they, Rebecca Black?

Rebecca Black Saturday

Rebecca Black’s infectious tune “Friday” is one of the things that we try to forget about 2011. Nothing is more irritating than being woken up at 4am on Saturday by some drunk gal bellowing “FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY” outside your window. But hey, guess what? Now I don’t have to yell back, “SHUT UP, IT’S NOT FRIDAY ANYMORE!”, because Rebecca has released a sequel song—and yes, it’s called “Saturday.”

I am not making this up. Here, listen:

While I wouldn’t exactly classify it as a good song, at least it’s not as obnoxious as “Friday” was. Rebecca is also a few years older now—she’s 16, for the curious—a fact which the song’s music video accordingly stresses. So what’s changed in the ours between Friday night and Saturday morning? Here’s what we learned:

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1. Friday wasn’t all that innocent. Remember how wholesome all those kids looked hanging out in Rebecca’s backyard with her on Friday night? LIES.  Just LOOK at all those hungover teenagers!

2. She doesn’t look like Lea Michele anymore. Probably a good thing.

3. The peanut butter has mysteriously vanished. Oh. My GOD, you guys. This is TOTALLY Rebecca’s jam. But where the heck has the peanut butter gotten to? PB and J is the breakfast of champions,l after a. Guess she’ll have to settle for her bowl instead. Again. Yawn.

4. She’s got a boyfriend now? Well, I can’t speak for Real Life Rebecca, but Music Video Rebecca’s boytoy seems to have trouble keeping track of things. Like his pants. Real winner there. His name, by the way, is Dave Days, and he’s a 22-year-old YouTube personality. Just FYI.

5. She still can’t drive. She’s also still sittin’ in the back seat. Good thing she finally made up her mind which seat she should take.

6. She still hasn’t invented a time machine. Yesterday was Friday. Today is Saturday. Awesome.

7. One of her friends is a hotdog. Seriously. Who brings a hotdog costume to a party?

For those of you who reeeeeeally can’t help yourself, here’s “Friday” again. We take no responsibility for the likelihood that you will get it stuck in your head and go crazy as a result:

Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor.

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