If you were Prince Harry, who would you ask for travel advice before visiting New Jersey? The cast of Jersey Shore? We probably wouldn’t, but that’s okay—because People asked them for him.
As you may know, Harry is currently in the middle of his big US tour. He landed in New Jersey yesterday, where he’s been checking out the damage from Superstorm Sandy with Governor Chris Christie and playing the occasional boardwalk game. But lest he’s having trouble figuring out what else to do while he’s there, Snooki has some tips for him, courtesy of People… and they’re kind of hilarious. For your Hump Day reading pleasure, here are the main points, offered with some inevitable commentary:
Places to Go:
- Point Pleasant, Wildwood, and Seaside Heights (natch). Snooki fails to elaborate on exactly what Prince Harry could do at any of these places; perhaps she’s relying on his having watched Jersey Shore to know. In the event that you haven’t, Harry, allow us to explain: Beaches, boardwalks, and the occasional Smush Room. Snooki does at least point out that a lot of the shore is still being reconstructed after Sandy; some businesses are still open, though, and having a little royal patronage would definitely help boost them up.
- Belmar. “I feel like you’re a party guy and enjoy having fun,” Snooki writes, “so Belmar is BEYOND amazing with pretty girls and a great party scene.” Something tells us that Harry’s handlers might be keeping a little bit of a closer watch on the prince after his Vegas romp, though.
- Hoboken? Seriously? No offense meant towards anyone who actually lives in Hoboken; to be fair, it’s a cute town. But really? If you were coming to the States from abroad, would Hoboken really be at the top of your must-do list?
Here’s Snooki’s reasoning: “I feel like you would fit right in in Hoboken. There are strips of bars everywhere where you can have drinks”—as opposed to bars where absolutely no drinks are served?—“maybe meet your future Princess and enjoy the great skyline of NYC.” Snooki tells Harry that she went there when she turned 21 and asks him to “imagine the craziness that happened.” Um, we’ll pass on the imagination exercise, thanks.
Things to Do:
- Hit the casinos in Atlantic City. Snooks recommends the Borgata, which, she says, “looks like a modern-day castle.” It might be a little less impressive to someone who grew up in and around actual castles, but whatever.
- Shop. We’re not really sure Prince Harry is a shopping kind of guy, but there’s no sales tax on clothing in Jersey, so if he wanted to add to his shoe collection, now would be a good time to do it.
- Eat at an authentic Italian restaurant. This may actually be Snooki’s best recommendation. Pasta and meatballs, baby.
In the meantime, Harry has already completed the Colorado leg of his journey for the Warrior Games; after he finishes up in New Jersey and New York, he heads to Connecticut for a charity polo match.
Tell us: Would you take travel tips from the cast of Jersey Shore?
Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor.