13 Ways to Bring the Spark Back to a Long-Term Relationship

Experts share how to bring emotional and sexual closeness back to your relationship.
Happy couple in bed smiling

Human brains are wonderfully complex, and don’t always work in our best interests. For example, did you know that our perception of pleasure changes as we become used to something? Research shows that we get a healthy shot of dopamine (the feel-good hormone) when we are seeking reward, and when there is something new to experience. Also, excitement is transferable, so the heightened arousal that follows say, a roller coaster ride, can be used to rev up your sex life.

With that said, here are my tips for reviving intimacy in a long-term relationship:

1. Resolve to deal with, or put aside resentments, and seek help to do that. Anger and unresolved issues often play out in the bedroom.

2. Reconnect! To reestablish connection, start to look into each other’s eyes whenever you are talking to each other. If you can eye-gaze fully clothed, oxytocin (the bonding hormone) increases, and the desire to get close, and naked increases. The good news here is that if one person starts to initiate eye-gazing, the other will often follow.

3. Increase touch. Once a pattern of increased connection is established, then increased touch can start. This includes hand rubs, feet rubs, neck rubs, and more. This can progress to massage—a wonderful way to get the body ready for sex (massage decreases the stress hormones, and increases the bonding hormones).

4. Allow tension to build. Our brains experience so much more pleasure when the anticipation of a reward is allowed for some time before we get the reward. So take your time.

5. Try something new, like taking it out of the bedroom. Remember a particularly hot night you might have spent together, or a particularly exciting location you were in.

Check out 8 more ridiculously hot tips over at YourTango!

This post originally appeared on YourTango.com: 13 Ways To Revive Intimacy In A Long-Term Relationship

More from YourTango:

The Love Hormone: The Truth About Oxytocin

5 Ways to Bring Sexy Back… Into Your Bedroom!

4 Flirty Ways to Impress Him In 4 Minutes or Less


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2 thoughts on “13 Ways to Bring the Spark Back to a Long-Term Relationship

  1. pregnantwild says:

    I think this is one of the hardest thing to do if you have a long time relationship. Even you love each other, there is always a chance that the spark in your relationship would fade and eventually turn in into break up. Great tips you have shared.

  2. dina marie says:

    This is very helpful for a couple, relationship need to be strong.

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