The Dating Game: Why Women Should Make the First Move

Just because men traditionally make the first move when it comes to dating doesn't mean that women can't! Here's why you should take charge when playing the dating game.
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man and woman flirting at bar

3. Level the Playing Field

There are so many ‘forbidden’ behaviors regarding communication early on in a dating relationship: You can’t call him first, you can’t respond too quickly, etcetera. Once you’ve shown him that you’re not afraid to go after what you want, he shouldn’t be surprised that you invite him to lunch a few days later unprovoked, or send him a flirty text. Believe it or not, it’s still very mysterious. He’s going to be interested to know what else you’ve got up your sleeve. Making the first move has opened your relationship to new possibilities, kicking the old ways to the curb. This also gives you power to work together in taking things slow or heating things up in the future. It’s becoming a partnership rather than a one-sided dictatorship.

Read The Five Most Flattering Things You Can Say to a Guy

4. Beggars Can’t Be Choosers, But Choosers Don’t Have to Beg!

When you make a mutual choice to be in a relationship, it’s more likely that you’re entering into one with a quality guy. If you beat him to the punch of making a move, chances are he’s been truly interested in getting to know you and is more decent than the drunk guy at the bar last week. You know the type – trying to grope you before they know your name, begging, “Come on, baby” – those guys are only interested in the moment and will continue to beg. When a worthy guy finds that you’ve chosen him, it shows him that you value yourself as well as him. Since these men are typically much more respectful than our friend the touchy pub predator, they may be holding back purely out of regard for you – and wouldn’t dream of begging. Make the first move! He’ll be delighted to know you’re ready, and then neither one of you will have to beg to move forward.

5. What Have You Got to Lose? Nothing!

Any guy in this position (having a sexy, confident woman make a move on him) is going to be pleasantly surprised. So many women today are either insecure or teases, and this establishes that neither is true of you. It also lets him know that you’re self-aware and in tune with what you’re looking for in a potential partner. Any guy who is scared off by your bold move is doing you a favor by showing you that – because he clearly has too many insecurities of his own to be around someone as poised as you. If this is the case, happily move on! Making the first move shows you what kind of man you’re dealing with early on.

Making the first move can make dating more care free for you, and enjoyable at that. When the rules no longer apply, it’s much easier to be yourself!

Renee headshotRenee Cutaia Olson coaches women to embrace their confidence, and encourages them to live their life rather than just survive it. You can catch Renee at Female Pick Up Artist – where you learn how to meet, date and keep the men that you desire. They have been featured in Marie Claire Magazine, The Sun Newspaper and other major publications.


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