She wasn’t drunk enough for this:
Carly S., contributor at MoneyCrashers.com
During an outing at a bar, a man approached me who was extremely intoxicated. I asked him how much he had to drink and he replied “Oh, I’m not wasted, I’m just drunk on you.” This one was particularly funny because he was in fact so drunk that he couldn’t even get those words out without slurring them.
‘Cause she made him feel like he’d been locked out of heaven:
Hope R., 48
I met my now ex (but we are still good friends) at karaoke – I thought he was a jerk, but my friend (who talked to him most of the evening) said he was OK, and that he wanted to take us for a bite to eat when the lounge closed. We followed him to the restaurant, had a nice meal & then my friend had to go to work. When we went outside, his car wouldn’t start, so he asked if I could take him to his friend’s house to get some tools. After dropping my friend off at work, on the way to his buddy’s house he turned to me and said “Did it hurt?” I said “What? Did what hurt?” and he said (with a straight face) “When you fell from heaven.”
Don’t feel bad! Good pick-up lines don’t even exist on the small screen:
Tracy V., Co-Founder of Simple Self Defense for Women
We were filming a segment for our PBS television special and we had a bar date scene. In order to make our point we gave our actor one of the cheesiest lines I could think of. “Hey there pretty lady, you must be a doctor because we have chemistry.” Ok, you can laugh now! When we deliver our personal safety workshops in person we always have our actor deliver the line and the ladies just roar! Our business is about women’s safety so it was funny to make the point.
Who wants to get dirty (literally)?:
Anonymous, 30, whatwouldkcavdo.tumblr.com
I had been online dating for about a year, and I was fed up with it. I’d been on so many first dates that went nowhere, and I started thinking to myself, what am I getting out of this besides a few drinks? Nothing. I was fine with being single, but one major downside of not having a boyfriend is not having a dude around to do the “guy” chores that I don’t know how to do/don’t want to do. SO I came up with the brilliant idea to combine dating with getting some “guy jobs” done. I joined howaboutwe.com and posted a date: “How about we…change my windshield wiper fluid for me?” And guess what, dudes were into it. I took a car photographer up on his offer, and finally I went on a date where I left feeling accomplished. I had a nice time with a cute guy, got in a little make out sesh, and left with a clean windshield. What more could a girl ask for?
He’s a numbers guy:
Nicole L., 24
One day when I was in college I saw a guy from across the cafeteria who had the most amazing smile I had ever seen. I made up in my mind that I would get to know him no matter what. That same week I saw him sitting alone at the popular hangout spot on campus. I pulled my phone out, walked up to him with a confused looked on my face and said,
“Excuse me, do you know anything about phones?”
“Why,” he said with a confused look back at me.
“Well my phone seems to be broken I think. There’s definitely something wrong with it, can you help,” I asked him.
“I don’t know how much I can help. What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s missing your number, can you fix it?” I said with a smirk on my face.
He laughed and said, “That was so lame, I just have to give you my number.”
Hook line and sinker!
Too bad he didn’t get lost:
Nikki W., 41
I am a woman of a certain age and this weekend a strapping, young, baby-faced 21-year-old walked up to me at the bar and said, “I lost my phone number, can I have yours?” Not kidding! Even worse, I was telling my girlfriends about it and my 16-year-old nephew came in and said, “Wait, that line doesn’t work?”
Up next: Cheesy lines and lots of laughs!