Good morning, kittens! Meanie hopes she finds you well on this sunny summer morning; do pull up a chair. Butler, dear? Would you mind terribly drawing a few more cups of espresso for our guests? One simply CANNOT begin even to THINK about the issues we are about to face this morning without an extraordinarily strong cup of java in hand!
All settled? Wonderful. Now, then: To business! What, pray tell, are the latest dispatches from the torrid world of celebrity culture? Allow Meanie to divulge her latest tidbits:
Perhaps unsurprisingly, this morning Meanie finds that her little birdies have circled back to Teen Mom Farrah Abraham yet again. After her little “sex tape” adventure—which, let’s face it, kittens, was no sex tape at all, but rather a full-on pornographic movie—Farrah spent some time shooting her mouth off about her co-star, James Deen; but when that failed to bring her anything but ridicule, she ceased her badmouthing and instead decided to take herself to rehab.
Meanie knows, kittens: Rehab? Whatever for? Of the many problems dear little Farrah has had, substance abuse has not hitherto appeared to be one of them. Recall, however, that she was charged with a DUI after an incident in March; she was placed on six months’ probation and ordered to undergo an alcohol education course. Farrah completed the course, although according to documents obtained by Radar Online, the director of the Texas-based program recommended that she also complete a 60-day Intensive Outpatient Program, followed by one year of aftercare. In addition to her alcohol issues, the document describes Farrah as having “difficulty making eye contact” and being “standoffish and sarcastic when answering the questions asked of her”… which sounds suspiciously like a simple case of Spoiled Brat Syndrome to Meanie.
Don’t get Meanie wrong, kittens; addiction is a serious issue, and of course she fully supports any decisions made by sufferers to seek the help they need. And yet, at the same time, Meanie can’t help but feel that Little Miss Farrah is simply following what she believes the projected “career” path of a star should be: Innocent beginnings, a “wrong” turn into adult film territory, and a stint in rehab. Meanie assumes that Farrah’s trip to rehab will be followed by some sort of “come back”—but given that the former Teen Mom isn’t known for having any sort of… well, talent, Meanie isn’t exactly sure what she would be coming back TO. More tabloid headlines? “Modeling?” A further career as an adult film star? (Although reports of those who have actually subjected themselves to Back Door Teen Mom state that Farrah was a… less-than-stellar performer) It’s a mystery, kittens—and one that Meanie simply cannot solve.
Up next: How might Farrah’s negative publicity be impacting her 4-year-old daughter?