If there’s one thing the Internet never runs out of, it’s celebrity feuds—and for those of you who revel in their ridiculousness, you’re in luck, because yet another one blasted itself across the webs this weekend. The contestants this time? Former friends Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton. Ding ding ding! Let the battle begin!
Because Twitter seems to be the arena of choice for most celeb feuds these days (hello, passive aggression!), that’s where this one unfolded. The triggering event is unclear—the Hollywood Reporter thinks it might have been a reaction to Perez recently slamming the singer’s latest single; other theories include Perez mocking Gaga on the day of her recent hip injury—but what we do know is that on Sunday, Gaga opened a can of whup-ass on Perez, claiming he was stalking her.
It seems to have begun when one of Gaga’s “little monsters,” Yung Neptunus, Tweeted, “PEREZ HILTON IS AT GAGA’S APARTMENT OH MY GOD.” Gaga’s responses have since been deleted from her own Twitter feed, but according to the Mirror, they read, “@perezhilton STAY AWAY FROM ME + MY FAMILY YOU ARE SICK TRYING TO RENT AN APARTMENT IN MY BUILDING TO STALK ME. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!” and “DO I NEED TO BE SHOT IT IN THE HEAD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT HIM AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT HARASSES ME HAS GONE TOO FAR? IM A HUMAN BEING.”
Perez later penned what he’s calling “A Statement on Lady Gaga’s Lies,” in which he offered his side of the story: He’s planning on moving back to New York from LA, and during his apartment hunt, he looked at a place that happened to be in the building Gaga lives in. He says only learned after the fact that Gaga kept her home in that particular building: “after a day of innovent house-hunting, I am devastated and my heart hurts that my former very good friend… is making very public and very untrue allegations about me on Twitter.” He goes on to say that he’s “a critic and not a ‘stalker’”; he also remarks, “I hope her fans stop sending me death threats, as the suggestions that I pose a danger to Lady Gaga is preposterous.”
While I find it unlikely that Perez would be blissfully unaware that an apartment he looked at was in Lady Gaga’s building—he’s made it his business to know things like that, after all—I do believe him when he says that he was just house-hunting. That said, though, I’ve kind of had it up to here with both of them.
Up until recently, I’ve liked Lady Gaga on principle, even if I haven’t been totally wild about her music—mostly because I know that as recently as ten years ago, the pop world was full of Britney Spears clones, and it heartens me somewhat to know that folks as “out there” as Gaga can now become mainstream. Lately, though, I can’t help but feel that she’s been doing outrageous things simply to be outrageous (comparing being a pop star to wearing a burqa? Seriously?); furthermore, she’s sliding into some dangerously hypocritical water, which just doesn’t sit well with me. The trappings of fame seem to be, well, trapping her.
I have no great love of Perez, either, largely because he’s somehow made not only a career, but a media empire out of being a professional Mean Girl. Most bloggers crack jokes because that’s how we comment on the absurdity of celebrity culture—but Perez has often been unnecessarily unkind, and that kind of bugs me (as Ellen DeGeneres proves, it’s possible to be funny without being mean). Since he decided to become a dad, he’s been trying to rehabilitate his image; while I do believe that people can change, I find it a little convenient that this is the moment at which he’s chosen to do it. If there’s one thing Perez knows, it’s how the fame machine works. He knows that with any public image, there’s only so long it can stay at one end of the spectrum before popular opinion starts to swing the other way (see: Anne Hathaway’s transition from America’s sweetheart to America’s “gag-me-with-a-spoon” star of choice); like the idea of Kim Kardashian being a mother, the idea of Perez being a dad fills many of us with revulsion, so I can’t help but feel that his baby is an armored piece of “niceness” for him to hide behind.
Does anyone else think we should just settle all famous person feuds with a good old-fashioned Celebrity Death Match? Not in real life—I mean a Claymation version of it. First, we get some reeeeeeally good animators to put together. Then we put Gaga and Perez in a room, sit ‘em down, and make ‘em watch it together. Maybe then they’d realize how silly the whole thing is.
Maybe that’s just me, though…
Tell us: Who would win in a Celebrity Death Match: Claymation Lady Gaga, or Claymation Perez Hilton?
Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor.
Photo Credit: StarTraks Photo