If you haven’t yet caught The To Do List in theaters, you should probably get on that. Witty with more than a few servings of raunchy humor, this flick is better than a hot guy on a lifeguard’s chair (well, almost). To revel in the dirty goodness even more, we put together a list of 15 lessons we’ve learned from Aubrey Plaza and crew.
1. That dude you kept mistaking for the janitor is actually pretty cute. On second thought, maybe not.
2. Push me in the pool once, shame on you. Push me in the pool a handful of times and then convince me to eat the poop floating in the pool, shame on me.
3. Consent is f*cking sexy. Ask first!
4. No matter how many times your parents told you they were virgins when they made the trip down the aisle, don’t believe them. They were having steamy sex like the rest of us, but let’s not think about that.
5. It’s better NOT to give the cute (that’s debatable) band guy a blowjob when he’s just dyed his hair.
6. Everything is better with good lube. But skip the popcorn butter.
7. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” This. Preach, sistah!
8. Trapper Keepers are awesome and we miss them. A lot.
9. Attempting to dry hump anywhere near fragile cat statues is never a good idea.
10. When you want to get laid, stay away from skorts… for everyone’s sake.
11. Singing “Wind Beneath My Wings” with your BFFs is simultaneously wonderful and awful.
12. Invest in sexy underwear. Hey, you never know!
13. Rachel Bilson looks good in everything, but we’re not jealous (okay, maybe just a bit).
14. Don’t write your name on the inside of your bra, especially if you’re planning a would-be epic prank.
15. Sometimes, sex is just sex. Really.
Diana Denza is BettyConfidential’s contributing editor.