5 Plot Twists We Imagine a Cup of David Lynch’s Coffee Would Give Our Morning Java

Good news, David Lynch fans: Now your morning cup of Joe can be as Lynchian as you are, because Lynch's coffee line is now available at Whole Foods.
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David Lynch coffee

Have you ever wished that your morning coffee was a little more Lynchian? Well, now it can be: According to the man himself, David Lynch’s own line of organic coffee beans is about to hit shelves at Whole Foods throughout Southern California.

The eccentric director first launched his own line of coffee beans in 2008; we had difficulty find it for a while, but now it looks like it’s back. According to Java Distribution, Lynch has developed his own extensive, personalize testing method; using this mysterious and indescribable method, he narrowed down the field of his favorite roasts and beans, eventually choosing three blends for his label.

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What are those blends? Allow us to enlighten you:

If you’re a fan of light blends, with crisp, bright notes of cocoa and hazelnuts, try the Organic House Blend. The beans come from the Sierra Madres of Oaxaca, Mexico, grown by small farmers with less than two acres of land a piece.

Like medium roasts with full-bodied flavor and chocolate notes? Go for the made from Central American and Indonesian beans.

Prefer to swap out the high test stuff for something that won’t keep you up at night? There’s an Organic Decaf House Blend, too. The flavorful beans from the Americas, East Africa, Arabia, and the Pacific Rim islands used in this one stand up well to the decaf process.

Ranging in price from $10.90 per pound to $13.10 per pound, these strange brews can also be ordered online.

Frankly, I just can’t stop thinking about the sorts of plot twists my breakfast would have if accompanied by a cup of David Lynch’s coffee. Let’s consider a few, shall we?

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