It’s a boy! Fergie and Josh Duhamel welcomed their first child together yesterday; he weighed in at 7 lbs., 10 oz.—and of COURSE they named him something ridiculous. Axl Jack Duhamel, to be exact. True, I’ve heard weirder celebrity baby names; Axl Jack is really something special, though, mostly because it sounds like it could be so many other things than a baby. Like these:
1. A cocktail. One that involves whiskey and apple juice.
2. A superhero with the power to transform the axles of every vehicle within a 20-meter radius into peppermint sticks.
3. Axl Rose’s Mini-Me.
4. A mom-and-pop mechanic and car repair shop.
5. The main protagonist of Carjack Madness, a Grand Theft Auto-style video game franchise (which doesn’t actually exist).
6. A terrifying new figure skating jump.
7. The prototype of a guitar the likes of which has never been seen made by AXL Guitars.
8. Axl Heck’s long-lost twin brother in a scrapped plotline from The Middle.
9. The next Ben and Jerry’s flavor, studded with bits of Crackerjacks and finished with an axle grease swirl.
Weird name aside, though, congrats to the happy new family! What’s next—a little sister called Airplane Jane? Only time will tell!
Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor.