Get some perspective. It’s important to acknowledge what type of guy you’re with. If his posse has always been female-heavy or he comes from a family dominated by women, he may just relate better to the opposite sex. “My boyfriend grew up without a father and has two sisters,” says Megan. “His best friend is a woman and when we’re all together, you can see how platonic their bond is. It just took me a while to see that.” However, if he’s naturally a thrill-seeker, the friendship may give him an ego-boost—which could mean that he’s looking outside the relationship to feel validated. “If you can’t think clearly, consult your sibling or some well-intentioned friends—preferably those in healthy relationships—for their objective opinions,” suggests Marshall.
Confront the issue. “Remember, this is an opportunity to problem-solve together,” says Marshall. Start by telling him that the idea of him spending his time with another woman makes you uneasy, and then explain why. And be specific. Say something like, “When you make plans with Beth on Saturday night, it makes me feel like you don’t prioritize our time together.” Then pause and let him explain. “A good partner has your total welfare in mind when listening to you,” notes Marshall. “This means he’ll empathize with your feelings, yet refuse to cater to requests that are irrational. You will always walk away from conversations feeling understood.” It’s also important to give him the opportunity to hear him out—if there is a problem in the relationship, be open to hearing it.
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