Relationship advice from Joseph Gordon-Levitt? I may not actually be his secret girlfriend, but hey, I’ll take it!
JGL recently made an appearance on TakePartLive to discuss not his own love life, but his latest flick, Don Jon. Since Don Jon, which Joe wrote, directed, and starred in, tells the tale of a modern Don Juan, it’s perhaps only natural that the conversation turned to real-life relationship do’s and don’ts.
“Jon… is constantly comparing his love and sex life to pornography, and Scarlet [Johansson, who plays Jon’s love interest]… is constantly comparing her love life to these romantic Hollywood movies,” Joe said. “So if you’re constantly comparing your real life to stuff you’ve seen on the screen, you’re always going to be disappointed, because real life is not as simple as that. I think real life is a lot more beautiful. And look, I love movies—but even the best movie can never be the same as real life. And if you’re busy making these comparisons, you’re going to keep missing each other.”
So how do you stop yourself from getting entangled in that trap of unreality? “People oftentimes have sort of ‘wish lists,’” the actor explained. “Like a checklist of, ‘Well, he’s got to be this,’ or ‘she’s got to have that,’ or blah blah blah, you know, there’s a list. Those are doomed, because you’re guaranteed to not be paying attention to the actual person. No person is going to fit into a quantified list.”
Simple, right? Throw out those lists? Joe admitted that it’s easier said than done—“I’m not going to saying that I’m completely guiltless of this; we all have our ‘lists’”—but I think he’s definitely on to something. You know that rut you sometimes get stuck in where you keep dating the same type of guy over and over again, but no matter how many times you hook up with him, he’s never right for you? He’s probably a ‘list guy.’
Kind of makes you wonder what JGL and his lady love had on their lists before they met, no? Hmmm…
Anyhoo, it’s good advice. Take it. Run with it. Happy dating, Bettys!
Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor.