5 Simple Ways to Get Your Man to Understand You

If the lines of communication are broken, there are some easy ways to mend them between the two of you.

5 Simple Ways to Get Your Man to Understand You

If the lines of communication are broken, there are some easy ways to mend them between the two of you.

-Marcelina Hardy

couple arguing in bed


You’re talking to him but you know he isn’t paying attention to you. You’ve even told him that you have something important to say, but you can see that glazed look that just screams, “I’m thinking of something else.”

So what do you do? You get upset; you start to yell at him saying that he never listens to you. That makes him mad and then he starts to yell back and the next thing you know, you’re both fed up with each other.

There’s a better way to communicate with your man so that you don’t get into an argument every time you want him to listen. No, it’s not what you’ve probably tried already –not telling him things because it’s not worth it since he’s not going listen anyway.

Read 8 Ways to Improve Your Relationship

Instead, you can implement these five tips to get your man to understand you and finally feel like you’re being heard.

1. Don’t talk to him when he’s busy

If he’s playing video games or watching a sports event on TV, that is not the time to talk to him. He may tell you that it’s okay that you tell him something or that he can listen without looking at you, but he’s just doing that so you’ll stop nagging him about when he’ll be ready to talk.

2. Ask him when he can pay attention to you

Tell him that you have something important to tell him and that you need his full attention. Then step away and let him come to you. If he forgets, remind him, but don’t continue reminding him or he’ll make time but will be in rush for you to finish.

3. Don’t attack first

If you have an issue to bring up to him, don’t start with, “You have made me so mad.” If you start with that, he’ll shut down immediately. That means everything you have to say afterwards, about the reason why you are upset, won’t be heard by him. Begin the conversation with the situation and then let him know that the situation is what made you upset. You’ll see how he’s less likely to become defensive and more open to talk so you can feel better about what happened.

4. Ask him if he is following you

Men and women don’t communicate the same way. Men will tell a story with as little detail as possible, while women like to paint a picture of the situation.

For this reason, you may have to check in with him to find out if he is still with you while you are talking. Ask him if he has any questions too, because that way you can explain anything he’s missed.

5. Show your appreciation for his attention

Men always love to be praised. If he listens to you and you’re happy with the attention you received from him, let him know. The more you point out what you want when you ask to be listened to, the more he’ll know what to do the next time.

Communication Goes Both Ways

While you want him to pay attention to you, he wants you to pay attention to him. If he has something to tell you, don’t jump to conclusions before he’s had a chance to tell you what he needs to say. Let him talk and then ask him questions about what he is telling you and how he is feeling. Don’t ever assume what he is trying to say or what he means by what he is saying to you. Just take what he says to you as it’s said and he will also feel as though you are listening and he’s being heard.

marcelina hardyMarcelina Hardy is a freelance writer and relationship coach, who helps individuals solve relationship problems and improve their relationships. Visit Relationship Repair for more relationship help.

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