5 Tips For Having A ‘Work Husband’ While In A Relationship
Do you have a close confidant of the opposite sex at work? He could be your “work husband.”
We’ve all been there. We’ve found ourselves bonding with a person of the opposite sex at work, whether it be complaining about the boss to each other, or sharing a secret laugh over your cubicle mate’s unfortunate music choices. But if you’re already in a relationship, can having a “work husband” threaten your at-home relationship? Where should the line be drawn? Should the relationship stay at work or is it okay to get après work drinks together?
Here are five things to consider while maintaining both a “work marriage” and an actual relationship at home:
1. Is having a “work husband” okay?
When it comes to sharing day-to-day highs and lows, should you be going to your partner, or is it healthy to share it with your male counterpart at work, who can relate to your experience?
Dr. Jenn Berman, relationship expert and host of VH1’s Couples Therapy, says it’s very normal for adults to build alliances in a work environment. But be aware that you’re forming this close relationship for a reason. “The problem isn’t with the relationship, it’s that your personal relationship with your partner can have holes within it that can leave you vulnerable to other connections,” says Dr. Berman, adding “If there are holes in your relationship, having a work [husband] can lead you to having an emotional affair.”
Dr. Wendy Walsh, relationship expert and human behavior expert, agrees. “The dangers are that emotional intimacy will lead to a boundary violation. If you talk to your work [husband] about intimate topics that you wouldn’t share if your spouse was in the room, you are treading into dangerous territory where you are switching allegiances,” she says.
2. Should you tell your partner about your work husband?
Many people are of the mindset that what you don’t know can’t hurt you. The problem with this theory is it becomes even more hurtful when your partner finds out. You may want to protect their feelings or keep them from getting jealous, since you think it’s unwarranted, but keeping things from your partner is a sign of a larger problem.
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