6 Signs Your Guy is Cheating

In the wake of the Demi-Ashton cheating scandal, we're re-running this article for the allegedly mistreated actress and any of you out there who think your man might be cheating.
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6 Signs Your Guy is Cheating

In the wake of the Demi-Ashton cheating scandal, we’re re-running this article for the allegedly mistreated actress and any of you out there who think your man might be cheating. Wonder if Demi saw any of these signs…

-Amber Madison


It’s every woman’s worst relationship fear — that her man is cheating. We’ve all heard the statistic: half of all men cheat. And some experts say that number is even closer to three quarters. Could it be happening to you? Aside from finding lipstick on his collar, a mysterious condom in his pocket or, yes, a phone number on a napkin (helpful hints but unlikely clichés!), there are some red flags to watch out for to tip you off that something fishy might be going on. The following are six signs that should raise your eyebrows:

1. He’s Acting Differently.
The most telltale sign of a cheating man is that he’s acting differently than the way he used to. If any of the signals below describe your guy’s usual actions, don’t freak out and immediately assume he’s having an affair; he’s probably just being his quirky self. What you should be suspicious of is new developments, says Barbara Feld, LCSW, a couple’s therapist at Park Avenue Relationship Consultants in New York City. She says you should ask yourself, “Is what’s happening different than normal? Is he showing a real change in behavior?” If he’s always been private, hasn’t ever had the highest sex drive, or often flakes out on plans, that’s just who he is. It’s when he starts to be that way and never was before that you should start asking questions. 

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2. He’s Avoiding You.
If your guy has suddenly started coming home much later, seems to be making excuses to be out of the house, starts going away without you on the weekends, or just generally seems to be avoiding you, that’s a clear indication of trouble in your relationship. M. Gary Neuman, a licensed family counselor and the author of The Truth About Cheating, found that 61 percent of cheating men said they started spending more time away from home. Fifty-five percent of men about to cheat said the same thing. No matter how busy your guy may be, he should be making an effort to see you (because, hello – he loves you, right?). If he’s stopped making time for you, it’s not at all unreasonable to wonder if he’s making time for someone else. 

3. You’re Having Less/Different Sex.
You might think that cheating men stop sleeping with their partners completely. But that’s not always the case. According to M. Gary Neuman, a little less than half of cheating men report having less sex with their partner. Others keep having sex so that they don’t raise suspicions – sneaky bastards. So be alert to the amount of sex you’re having, but most of all, pay attention to the quality of the sex. Therapist Barbara Feld says sometimes when a guy is having an affair, the quantity of sex remains the same, but it’s the sex itself that changes. Maybe it used to be very romantic, and feel more like making love, and now it just feels like plain old sex.

4. His General Response to You Has Changed.
If a guy is having an affair, he may stop acting like the sweet, romantic man you fell in love with. Maybe he used to be very loving and kind towards you, but now he seems to get annoyed easily, be critical, or pick fights. If he’s consistently not being affectionate with you, don’t brush it off. Try to figure out why he’s different – and what could be distracting him, or making him feel guilty.

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17 thoughts on “6 Signs Your Guy is Cheating

  1. FBNYC says:

    Sneaky bastards!

  2. hope_xo says:

    Ugh, cheaters … damn you

  3. LookitsCynthia says:

    hahahahahh @FBNYC. these tips are great.

  4. naturegirl27 says:

    Great article! It says all the things you know deep down to be true, but acceptance doesn’t always come easily. Having been with a man for 15 years, who I believed with every fiber of my being he would be the last person to lie or cheat, reality smacked me a good one. The shock, the heartache, the questioning what I did wrong to “make him cheat”, to have him finally confess (after flat out lying for 3 months) and his reason was “I thought it would be fun”. Friends thought I was being dramatic, that I was making it up, because there’s no way he could do that. All those “signs” of infidelity were there, I asked, questioned and confronted him from the first day he was unfaithful, but he lied right to my face calling me “paranoid”. Relationship over, lessons learned, pain endured, but I’m happier than I’ve been in years and I know his infidelity had nothing to do with me.

  5. masyed says:

    hi all,
    listen ladies, i shouldn’t even be reading this article but hey, here’s the deal. being a man, i know (for sure) that these signs have nothing to do with your man cheating on you. this article is all b.s, may be even a good laugh for men over a bear.relationships are about trust, the more you trust a person, the more loyal he is to you. even if he sleeps with a woman , he’s gonna come back to you once he realizes how much you trust them.

    one more thing, men behave in ALL sorts of different ways. so don’t always believe that sound coming from inside your head.

    and yes, we all do hate pigs who don’t have a back bone to end a relationship before starting a new one.

  6. allets says:

    Masyed, you are so funny. Did you read your post before hitting send? If you don’t believe the sound that comes from inside your head, what should you believe? Why should one “trust” a cheater? Trust is earned and it can not be earned if you are cheating. Your post makes no sense at all.

  7. sexyluv says:

    In my relationship I am dealing with a man who simply dpesnt want any quality time with me. We both work at the same job and he avoids me while on breaks as well when it comes to weekends he doesnt want to anything but stay home and Im ready to go out sometimes and spend time together. Which makes me to think he is hiding from something or somebody ? I need advice

  8. paradize240810 says:

    here is the big question..do all these signs go for our women also!!??? when is the topic of a cheating wife/girlfriend going to be published..we all know that women can be very secretive about anything, and yes they are very good at it. so when is it time to decide whether or not your girlfriend is cheating? I myself am a loyal, loving, and effectionate man to my lady. we have a daughter and we both have been through it all together.. I am 25, she is 22..in our younger days together we both went back and forth to our ex’s, but ultimatly always realizing our deep, compassionate love for eachother(and maybe our sex together too oh lord!!) Now… us knowing so much about eachother, and knowing what each of our signs are, like when were thinking of someone else, or having feelings for an ex lover, etc.. How do we recognize if these things are happening now? we are always happy together, always laughing, and always maintaining the “family life” and just keeping it real.. how would you know if cheating is going on then? do you just let it happen due to “no signs” and full attention to eachother? because theres always that person who loves their life, loves their man/woman, but still finds the need to fool around at work maybe, or a one night stand when out with friends..what do we do than?? submit?? maybe that person needs the feeling of being wanted to maintain a healthy relationship at home..which in turn means they need some kind of counseling or therapy.. WHY CANT PEOPLE JUST LOVE ONE ANOTHER, BE FAITHFUL, AND BE HAPPY DOING IT? Fxxxing grow up is my answer

  9. stylebird says:

    It has been my experience that a guy will pick fights constantly when he is cheating. Anything to make his new odd behaviors look like they are a result of something you did or didn’t do.

  10. henri says:

    I agree with comment 9 are the signs that she is cheating the same? please do an article on this I need to know.

  11. Curious50 says:

    These are helpful hints but what about the signs of a woman cheating. I do agree with you but there are women who do the same thing. It happens to go both ways and when a man catches this what is he to do when both parties think oh they wont leave me they will be home when I get there oh how do we use that security blanket we call marriage. When a person cheats they need to come clean or get out of the relationship.

  12. biglip1 says:

    I cant remember a relationship where I havent cheated. It was bread in me from my teens even before I had my first sexual encounter that you always had a girl on the side in case your girl started acting up. This behavior has carried into 3 failed marraiges which all ended because of my unfaithfullnesss. Not to blame any of the women I cheated on or cheated with. But in all three marriages after the vows were exchanged the frequency and the freakyness of the sex diminished. I heard “I’m tired, I dont feel well, I’m on my monthly” more times than I care to remember. And because I am successful, fit, and work in a profession that is high profile (firefighter). I have always had women slip me thier number. These woman just like my wives before marriage are more than willing to try whatever and whenever. The girlfriend I currently have when we started dating we both had multiple partners. She has told me that she has stoped sleeping with others and has asked me to stop and be monogomos. I’m not cheating because she knows that I still see others and has even met some of the women I see. But when I see her after someone else I see the hurt in her eyes which hurts me. I have considered monogomy but I havent stoped seeing the 3 other partners I have. And I dont want to promise her a faithfulness I know I cant deliver. I added this little piece for a couple of reasons. If your guy is a habitual cheater either live with it or get out of the relationship. If not then ask him if he’d like to go back to how the sex was with you when you first fell in love, I bet his answer will be yes. The worst thing you can do is begin acusing me or be sooo hurt and PUNISH him for his infidelity. Better get this nails out and seal the coffin to your relationship if you do that.

  13. Foxylady_13 says:

    Great article!!! I agree with all of these signs, I

  14. MISSLADY says:

    To biglip1, your nasty. You have a problem and I hope you are using protection before you catch something, if you already haven’t.

  15. soloved2010 says:

    Men Suck…

  16. krissyr says:

    I HATE when people put tips out here like this – Because everyone woman (and myself included) starts reading into things that aren’t there., or maybe that are signs of him just being unhappy, or maybe that your relationship needs some work. Just because he withdraws some, or isn’t as loving as he used to be, doesn’t mean he’s cheating. This very well could be that you are not giving him the attention you used to, so he backs away. Or he has stress going on with work, or something of that nature, and he’s distracted.
    I read a book called “His Needs, Her Needs” and I think most ladies who think their man is cheating needs to read this. There’s a chapter called Love Bank thats especially helpful when looking at these odd behaviors.

  17. faith says:

    My boyfriend and I were happy as far as I could tell and I never thought that we would break up. When his cousin died in a tragic car accident he went back to Philippine for a week to be with his family. I could not go because I was in the middle of entertaining out of town clients for work. He did not seem to be upset that I could not go so I let him be. The next thing that I know, he reconnected with an old friend from high school that he had a crush on years ago and they started to have an affair! I had no clue what was going on until a month after he came back from Philippine.He proceeded to see both her and I until I caught him testing her one night. I confronted him and he told me the truth about what happened. We broke up and went our separate ways. Neither of us fought for our relationship. I was angry and decided not to be upset about it and just keep it moving. Then after about a month of not speaking to him I became sad. I wanted him to tell me that he wanted to be with me and not her. I contacted prophetjakula for a love spell and he totally helped me! he was able to get him to miss me to where he wanted to get back together again. He had a lot of regrets and felt bad for not fighting to keep me and for cheating in general. He values our relationship so much more now and we are together now! You can also get your lover back with the help of prophetjakula contact him through prophetjakula@gmail.com

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