8 Warning Signs He's Breaking Up With You

How to tell if your guy's about to bail.
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8 Warning Signs He’s Breaking Up With You

How to tell if your guy’s about to bail.

-Carrie Seim

A woman touching a man's hand

Nobody likes to be on the wrong end of the “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” call. That’s one conversation we’d all prefer went straight to voicemail.

Let’s face it – breaking up almost always sucks. But when you’re the one who failed to see the Big Dump coming, you face an entirely new level of suck. Epic suck. Monumental suck. Can’t-go-to-work-because-my-eyes-are-swollen-from-all-this-crying-and-no-one-will-ever-love-me suck.

So how can you tell when a guy (with whom you’ve been sharing a life, a loofah or a last name) is about to call the whole thing off? We asked real men to divulge their breakup trade secrets. Here are eight warning signs men display just before saying So long, sweetheart.

1. The Slow Fade
The slow fade is a term coined by one of my guy friends, Will*, to describe his classic exit strategy from a relationship.

“The slow fade is when I subtly reduce frequency of contact with a chick,” he says. “I guess I hope maybe she won’t notice I’m not calling or texting as much. It’s a good preamble to the actual breakup, because either she forgets about me or she gets pissed at me. Either way, the breakup moves along quite nicely.”

2. His Alibi
Guys often combine the Slow Fade with another passive-aggressive breakup technique: the Unnecessarily Complicated Alibi.

“If I don’t want to hang out with a girl anymore, I start listing all these elaborate, detailed reasons why I’m busy for the next two weeks and can’t see her,” explains Will. “I cover all my bases. Next Tuesday at 4:05 p.m.? Sorry, I have an appointment with my podiatrist. Friday night at 8 o’clock? I have to write a thank you note to my grandma.”

This is a tricky one, ladies, because guys are often legitimately busy (just like you). The critical distinguisher between “busy but into you” and “busy and over you” is his offer to reschedule. If he makes a reschedule offer for a specific date and time, no need to jump the breakup gun. But if there’s no makeup date in sight – it may be sayonara, sugar.

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0 thoughts on “8 Warning Signs He's Breaking Up With You

  1. These points were so true to reality. I have definitely gotten the No More “I Love You” one, and the “Slow Fade”. Seriously though, I do wish men would just come out and say, “I’m just not into you like I was before.” It would at least give me a feeling he had respect for me and himself, instead of the weirdness. I think they do this stuff tho, like it says because they don’t want to be the bad guy and they think all girls are going to cry and beg them to stay and say, “I can change, just tell me what I’m doing wrong.” or something like that., haha.

  2. well everyone I’m so thrilled to tell you that I am currently or have currently received all these signs. IT is very painful. I really can’t believe it The only thing I don’t understand is at the same time he’s still saying I’ll always be his yet not really. I wish everyone luck in your situation be happy you are not me right now.

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