8 reasons to re-consider a girl-friendship
By: Kara Posner
- She instantly loves everything you show interest in, from a guy to your jeans. There is no exchange of ideas in this relationship. If you have nothing to learn from her, it will get very boring, very quickly. That is, unless you feed off of the ego boost. In this case, get over the Heathers dynamic. That movie was so two decades ago.
- She doesn’t have a car, always needs a ride and never offers to take a bus or cab. You are calling her less and less, knowing that she won’t come out unless you drive a half hour out of your way to pick her up, then again to drop her off. Her financial situation is tight but you are starting to feel taken advantage of and the helpless position she constantly laments is getting a little old.
- She comes in and out of your life depending on her dating status. You don’t hear from her starting the minute she is dating to the minute she needs solace for the break-up. It feels pretty crappy to realize that she only has time for you until something more important comes along. That’s a venomous pecking order and you aren’t the snake here.
- She makes it very clear how smart and clever she is. She makes it especially clear when she picks on you for your gaffs and missteps. The remarks are starting to take their toll on you and you wonder if she would feel so good about herself if you weren’t serving as her punching bag.
- You realize that the conversation never swings around to you. No matter how interesting she is, it is nice to feel that she has some interest in you, too. What kind of relationship is unidirectional? I don’t know but I don’t think it is called a friendship.
- She is late for absolutely everything. Whether it is for dinner reservations or theatre tickets, she can’t seem to get her little tuches there on time. She has left you standing outside and missing the opening scenes too many times. If she truly were as sorry as she exclaimed at each late arrival wouldn’t she try to change?
- She is consistently about as uplifting as the Titanic. Sure, she’s brainy and creative and is a good listener but when she starts expressing her feelings you wonder how she came to have such a sour taste for everything. No amount of your best “buck-up little camper” speeches seem to penetrate the shroud. Your friend may be more in need of a professional than a good friend.
- She lets a minimum of three messages pile up before she calls you back. Let’s hope that it isn’t an emergency because she isn’t getting back to you no matter the message. You realize that you are becoming conditioned to expect this behavior from her when you wouldn’t accept this from anyone else. Why are you allowing her to get away with it?