Conveyor Belt of No-They-Didn't!

New speed dating show Conveyor Belt of Love is spectacularly awful.
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Conveyor Belt of No-They-Didn’t!

New speed dating show Conveyor Belt of Love is spectacularly awful.

-Carrie Seim

Conveyor Belt of Love

Admit it – at some point you’ve wished dating were as simple as showing up at the Man Factory and picking a Prince Charming straight off the line.

Well, in a delicious travesty of television, Conveyor Belt of Love granted your wish last night.

Five girls. 30 guys. One conveyor belt. Welcome to the new math of dating.

Read Is It Time to Update Your Dating Profile

In case you missed ABC’s craptacular speed dating special yesterday, imagine The Bachelor meets The Jetsons meets a pick-your-food-off-the-belt sushi restaurant.

Seriously. Someone at ABC, who probably gets paid disgusting amounts of money, green lit this project. A roomful of suits sat around and said – You know what would elevate the television arts in 2010? Let’s send a bunch of dudes down a conveyor belt and let hot chicks fight for them. America will love us!

The thing is – and please forgive me for the words I’m about to write – I couldn’t stop watching the nightmare roll past.

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