Flogging the Agony: October 20, 2008

A roundup of the worst relationship advice for the week of October 20, 2008.

Advice Roundup

Flogging the Agony Aunts: October 20, 2008

The week’s worst relationship advice

-Judy McGuire

woman looking out a windowThis week we’re all over the place – one woman contemplates having an affair, another wondering if it’s a good thing to tell off the dude who broke her heart, and yet another with her knickers in a twist over an under-age bridesmaid.

The always enlightening Daily Mail’s agony aunt, Zelda West-Meads strikes out on all her answers this week, but worst was her counsel to a woman who was thinking of having an affair. The writer and her husband had moved hundreds of miles away from all their family and friends for his job. The husband refuses to go out. Ever. No social events, no nothing. Now – naturally – she’s met a handsome someone. Nothing has happened yet, but in her head, she’s already there.


While Auntie Zelda does correctly advise she keep her panties on, instead of any real suggestion, she diagnoses the husband with social anxiety disorder and suggests he seek therapy.

Which would be great if it were the husband writing her, but it’s not. This woman is stuck out in the boonies with a man who doesn’t give a s&*t that she’s desperately lonely. In fact, he tells her that he and the children are all she should need.

Er, no. She should insist that they move back to civilization and if he’s not willing to do that she should pack up the kids and move back without him.

While not exactly an advice column, Dear Sugar, thinks it’s a bad idea to call an ex who done you wrong and tell him exactly how angry you are and why. She (they?) ask readers what they think and the reaction is mixed. Here’s my advice: If someone has hurt and emotionally devastated you, you have every right to rip them a new one. Once. Holding it inside and forcing a smile every time you run into them will only give you an ulcer. Have your say, get it out, and move on.

As anyone who’s seen Bridezillas will attest, weddings can really bring out a case of the crazies. What is it about celebrating the love of two people that makes everyone go completely ‘round the bend? This week, Carolyn Hax hears from a bride whose sister-in-law is throwing her a shower/wine-tasting.

The SIL assumed her seven-year-old daughter would be included, but the bride thinks this is wildly inappropriate. (The kid is in the wedding, BTW.) As it’s his family, her fiancé is thrown in the middle of this ridiculous powerplay. Hax advises her to look long and hard at how her husband deals with his family. Are they always going to come between them, etc.

What she doesn’t say is that girlfriend needs to lighten up. It’s a bridal shower that her SIL was nice enough to throw her. Probably the only person there who’ll actually be having a good time (besides the bride and her pile of presents) will be the kid. What skin is it off the bridal butt if the seven-year-old shows up? I tasted my first beer at my first communion – who’s to say this child wouldn’t enjoy a fruity chardonnay? (Kidding!)

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