Heavy Breathers: The Downside of Yoga Class

A woman's account of an annoying heavy-breather in her yoga class.

I’m Losing It

Nama-STOP Your Heavy Breathing!

The heavy yoga breather

-Stephanie Elliot

woman in yoga p<mce:script type=ose” width=”256″ height=”381″ />I love yoga.

I love the trickly nature-water music, the way I can turn my brain into mush for that hour, how I can make my body bend and twist in ways I never thought possible. I love the spiritual aspect of it. I love my instructor, who is genuine and kind and joyful in her heart and soul.

I love at the end, when I get to lie in savasana (dead corpse pose) and be still and listen to the Dalai Lama chant om, over and over and over. In fact, I would take that part for the full hour some days.

I don’t get to yoga class as much as I would like, and the other day I was in desperate need of a yoga fix. I got to the studio and set my mat up perfectly aligned with the floor slats, because if it’s not lined up, it’ll just throw off my whole mental mindedness of the hour. I need everything to be right.

We started off slowly, with a nice bridge pose and some ab work and then moved into some warrior poses, and then it started.

The guy behind me started some wacky mouth breathing.

UGH!

It threw off my whole chakra-rockra whatever you wanna call it …

BIG-MAN-MOUTH-BREATHER RUINED MY YOGA PRACTICE!

We moved into triangle pose. I tried to push the horrible sound from my head. Concentrate on how you’re feeling inside, I told myself.

Myself told me, YOU CAN’T, BECAUSE THERE’S A LARGE MAN SOUNDING LIKE HE’S MAKING DIRTY PRANK PHONE CALLS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

Try to find your inner peace, I calmly spoke to my inner self.

My inner self yelled back: LOUD MAN IS GROSS!

Through triangle pose and plank pose, to cobra and back to downward dog, I cursed BIG-MAN-MOUTH-BREATHER and dreamed of ways to kill him.

Not a very spiritual yoga practice, that’s for sure. You can bet next week I will be sure to choose a place to find my inner peace far, far away from Mr. Loud Mouth Yoga Breather!
Namaste!

Stephanie Elliot is Manic Mommy. Visit her at www.stephanieelliot.com or www.manicmommy.net.


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