Susan Boyle, Celebrity Weddings, Octomom and More

Mean Betty dishes on Susan Boyle, celebrity weddings, Octomom and more.

Mean Betty

Susan Boyle, Celebrity Weddings, Octomom and More

Mean Betty’s week in review

-Mean Betty

Bo Barack's bookDogs and Susan Boyle

Well, pets, Bo Obama, THE DOG, got his inevitable book deal–faster than even Mean Betty expected! Turns out the book has been in the works for months, just waiting for Bo to actually–you know–EXIST so the enterprising author could pencil in the appropriate illustrations. Apparently it’s “told from Bo’s point of view”–gee, what a thriller. The garishly cheesy illustrations are matched only by its cringe-worthy title (“Commander in Leash,” if you must know). The tome hits shelves next week–faster than little Bo can figure out the tastiest White House furniture to chomp on. Lucky us.

Even sillier than the dog’s book–Mean Betty hears Susan Boyle is after a book deal of her own. Guess she’s not a provincial dummy after all, but really–someone said it best when he quipped it’s more of a short story than a novel. Of course, where there’s a book, there must be a movie. Catherine Zeta-Jones is angling to play Susan, which just may be the most ridiculous thing Mean Betty has heard in a long time. Oh, what a special, special treat to see Catherine gallantly frump herself up, Charlize Theron-style, and then pat herself on the back for managing to–gasp–gain some weight and appear anything less than gorgeous. The guts! The pluck! Mean Betty’s eyes roll. Truly, they do.

For a laugh–here’s the Daily Mail‘s depiction of a Susan Boyle-Catherine Zeta morph. Hopefully this is the last we see of it:

Catherine Zeta-Jones mixed with Susan Boyle

What Recession?

Salma Hayek and husband François-Henri Pinault Have you heard? Two weddings is the new wedding! Ingenious celebrities have figured out how to make sure they get twice the attention on their special day days. Why have one wedding when you can have two? Breastfeeder extraordinaire Salma Hayek and her French billionaire were just the latest celebrity duo to tie the knot twice, following hot on the heels of Tom and Gisele (who, oddly, are still denying us their wedding photos) and Spencer & Heidi (who, of course, never make a move unless a photographer is around). Come to think of it–given the expected longevity of a Hollywood marriage, perhaps a double knot is the way to go.

Requisite Octomom Update

Octomom's tattooMean Betty gives in. There’s just no ignoring Nadya Suleman, but Mean Betty will make it brief. First we heard the astonishing news that Octomom (it’s not OctomomTM yet is it?) wanted to get a pet PIG … which is just perfection, if you ask Mean Betty. Maybe if she brings enough farm animals into the house child-protective services will finally get involved.

Next up: Octomom’s garish tattoo, featuring a tacky angel and 14 stars, one for each of her unfortunate brood. Because, as all single moms of babies will agree, she certainly can’t possibly have anything better to do with her time than feed her Angelina Jolie obsession. And how handy the stars are small–plenty of room for more!

Mean Betty has no comment on Octomom: The Musical.

That Was Fast, Mel

Mel Gibson and Oksana GrigorievaCreepy old man Mel Gibson debuted his new accessory/girlfriend this week. Mean Betty heard he wanted to try to get an “annulment” from the Catholic Church–pardon Mean Betty’s French, dears, but what a load of hypocritical crap.

“Mel has been single for almost three years, and it’s nice to see him getting out and enjoying himself,” his rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

That’s funny, Mean Betty thought he was married all this time! Oh wait, he was.

Until next week, dears. Mean Betty would love to dish some more, but Mean Betty is busy soliciting book proposals from her neighborhood cats.


Mean Betty

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0 thoughts on “Susan Boyle, Celebrity Weddings, Octomom and More

  1. hahahaha, too funny. what i want to know is WHEN does a mom of 14 children have time to go out and get a tattoo. I mean clearly it’s a priority and all, but …

  2. Well if I was married to a billionaire as cute as Francois Henri Pinault, I’d have a second wedding in Venice, after all, one in Paris with just a few people wearing a suit just doesn’t cut it when you can have Balenciaga design you a gown!

  3. Yes, I’m sure that Catherine Zeta Jones would love to play Susan Boyle, her career is in the tanker, all her movies stink and she hopes for a hit, good luck Cathy!

  4. Well even though Mel is a creep, if he’s been separated for 3 years, it’s about time he gets on with his life. His wife filed for divorce, there’s no reason for him to not go out with his girlfriend.

  5. I think it’s great that Salma Hayek had a proper wedding, even if it’s the second time. The first one was in the city hall, hardly romantic–and we all know he can afford part deux!

  6. MB … I always thought that I could save Robert Downey Jr. back in the day when he needed some serious savin’ … Mel Gibson? Not so much. I have a phreakish desire to watch him do a slow phuck up splattered all over this website. How long until he creates a cologne … hey didn’t Catherine try that already? Stinks like phailure to me.

  7. Salma Hayek’s wedding sounded amazing. What could be better than having a gown by a great designer and getting married in Venice, sounds like the good life, la dolce vita!

  8. “First we heard the astonishing news that Octomom (it’s not OctomomTM yet is it?) wanted to get a pet PIG … which is just perfection, if you ask Mean Betty.”

    Sorry, mean Betty, Octomom is TM’d.

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