My Husband Cheated On Me!
Three women share why they stayed, left or “revenge cheated.”
What would you do if your husband cheated? Would you stay? Would you go? Or would you get even?
Tiger Wood’s wife, Elin Nordegren, has yet to make that difficult decision. But People magazine is reporting that she may stay with Tiger for the sake of their children. (What about the sake of all those zeros in his bank account?)
Another victim of high-profile infidelity, Jenny Sanford, made the opposite relationship status decision late last week. The first lady of South Carolina announced plans to divorce Gov. Mark Sanford, who cheated on her this summer with an Argentine mistress (while telling the world he was “hiking the Appalachian Trail”).
The choice to stay, to leave or to retaliate after an affair can be painful and heartbreaking, but also powerful.
BettyConfidential spoke with three real-life wives whose husbands cheated on them. Each woman made a radically different decision regarding her relationship after discovering the infidelity. While their choices were different, the wives share deep reserves of courage, strength and the conviction that they made the right decision for their lives.
Here are their stories, as told to BettyConfidential’s Carrie Seim:
Sheahan: “I Left Him”
Location: New York
Job: Owns a leadership development business
Married: 14 years
Discovered the infidelity: 3 years ago
I wish I’d had a 9 iron!
My husband called me without knowing he called me (pocket call) and I answered, only to hear him confessing to his dad that he “had a wife and a girlfriend and you can’t tell anyone.” His father, who I was very close with at that time said, “Don’t worry, son, your secret is safe with me.”
I felt like I had been hit by a two-by-four. But it was also like divine intervention! What are the odds of receiving a call such as this? It was like a horrible cosmic joke.
I loved this man unconditionally and thought we’d made it through so much together that we would never part. He was my world, this guy. I was completely devastated, heart-broken, disillusioned. I really didn’t think he was the type to cheat – nor did anyone. I am also not naïve – I promise!
After I confronted him, things went downhill from there. I found a signed lease in his briefcase for an apartment in Boston. So I did what any other woman with any amount of dignity left would do – serve him divorce papers at his secret apartment. Best decision I’ve made in years!
I moved back to NYC and got an amazing job with a global bank. Serendipitous events were happening with great frequency at this time. As absolutely shattered and broken hearted as I was (I lost 20 pounds, down to a size 0), it was an amazing experience.
I do know this for sure: I would rather be on my own – with all its uncertainty – living and building an authentic life, than with a man who lies to me, a man I cannot trust and one who obviously doesn’t respect me.
Broken hearts do heal! Sometimes you have to hit the reset button, knowing you deserve better treatment in this short life we have.