The Week’s Worst Relationship Advice
I have finally found – hands down – the world’s worst advice columnist: Doc Love from AskMen.com. He “solves” every single question by telling the reader that he must by his book if he ever wants to get laid again. I mean, I wrote a dating book and I write several weekly columns about dating, but I’d never tell someone they had to purchase my book. (Though I would like you better if you did.)
Earlier this summer I had to talk a friend down after she was terribly insulted when her best friend picked someone else to be her maid of honor. I’ve (luckily) never been in a wedding party, but I’ve seen all the nonsense brides put their bridesmaids through and told her she’d dodged a bullet. After all, arranging the bachelorette party would no longer be her problem. No “penis pops” or male strippers charged to her credit card! She wouldn’t have to plan a shower. Or buy a fugged out dress that she’d never wear again. Her friend’s decision wound up saving her several thousand dollars and untold wear and tear on their friendship. By the time I’d finished with my pal, she was no longer in tears, but breathing a sigh of relief.
Carolyn Hax takes quite another tack with a woman similarly snubbed by a bridal buddy. Instead of pointing out the upside, Hax tells the woman: “[I]t’s just this kind of horrid, thoughtless behavior that softens us up and teaches us not to entrust our happiness to others lightly. In the short term, as you have identified already, it also teaches us who our friends are, and whom we can trust. This here bride, not really your friend.”
Oh, please. The bride was probably going to cause a family war if she didn’t choose some cousin or whatever to stand up with her. I love my girlfriends and am happy for them when they wed, but I want no part of a mauve taffeta gown and a forced updo. Does that make me a bad friend? Maybe. But I’m OK with that.