What Guys Really Talk About

Back by popular demand! You guys loved this article about what guys really say when we're not around.
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What Guys Really Talk About  

Back by popular demand! You guys loved this article about what guys really say when we’re not around.

-Faye Brennan

What Guys Really Talk About

When we get together with the girls, it’s fun to talk about the men in our lives. We tell each other what cute things they did for us, what they do that royally pisses us off, and occasionally, we’ll even share the steamy details of a particularly hot night. It’s a way for us to bond, give advice and giggle a little at a man’s expense.

But, it makes you wonder, if we’re talking about this stuff, what in the world is being discussed downstairs in the man cave? Guys can only talk about sports for so long until the conversation inevitably turns to “Dude, my girl’s ass is starting to get too big.” Right?

With this in mind, we asked a bunch of real men to break their silence and tell us what’s really being discussed over beer and Monday Night Football. Brace yourself: Here’s what they had to say:

 “On any given night, I could be talking about my girlfriend’s penchant for oral sex, or how we’re trying to set time/space boundaries so as not to smother each other. I do think that being an adult means being somewhat discreet, but that’s not to say that I don’t get bawdy with my guy friends. Of course we talk about past hook-ups or which girl was the best at what, but I’d like to think that a sense of decorum is still maintained.” – Zachary, 26, New York

Read 5 Signs He’s Not Into You Anymore 

“We don’t say much more than, ‘She looks great naked,’ ‘has a great body,’ ‘great breasts,’ ‘is wild in bed,’ ‘is stiff in bed,’ etc. It’s all very general and brief.” – Ian Coburn, author of God is a Woman: Dating Disasters, 37, Chicago

“Friends that are close to me know if a date with someone new went well, how we spent our evening, and how attracted we found ourselves to each other. Occasionally, I’ll divulge intimate details, but only to very close friends who have known me for a long time.” – John, 27, New York

“Saying stupid things about women has no age barriers. When we let our guard down, and have a few beers, anything can happen. But truthfully, we don’t mean half the shit we say. Or remember it!” – Howard J. Morris, coauthor of Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid: The Simple Truth to a Complicated Relationship, 45, Los Angeles

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19 thoughts on “What Guys Really Talk About

  1. OK, ladies… I’ll give you the straight dope about what we guys talk about when you aren’t around:

    – computers/cars/technology gadget related stuff
    – geeky stuff
    – dirty jokes / humor
    – sports
    – politics
    – quotes from silly movies
    – food
    – how hot or ugly a particular woman is
    – how to solve a technical problem

    That hammers basic guy talk when women aren’t around. Not terribly juicy, I know.

  2. Thank you bwrob. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only man who realizes how bad this sexist stereotyping has become. Just as you said, it seems people think it’s perfectly fine for women to lump men into one large stereotype, but if men did the same thing to women, they’d be up in arms. I don’t even listen to the radio or watch commercials on television anymore it’s gotten so bad. It’s a sad thing that the women’s rights movement started off so well with images of Rosie the Riveter and other strong, competent women, but has now degenerated into the emasculation of men. The message being sent to today’s youth is that a strong women is one who belittles men and treats them as an inferior.

  3. Oh and as for the article, it’s not far off. Several of the quoted people had good points. I’ve been the guy friend to a lot of girls and have been included in the female talk sessions. In my experience there are big differences between what men and women talk about. Women tend to be a lot meaner than men. Women will sit around and talk about their men’s flaws(small penis,laziness, hairy back, no good at oral,etc) while men generally talk in general terms, and stick to the positive. If we dislike something about the woman we’re currently seeing so much that we feel the need to discuss it, we tend to just cut our losses and break up with them. Billy from New York kind of nailed in on the head. A man who sits around complaining about his woman to his friends is usually told to man up and either quit bitching or break up with them if it’s so bad. As an example, I just started seeing a new woman, and the only thing I’ve told my guy friends is how well she carries a conversation and how sweet she is to me. The rest is none of their business. My best friend of 10 years is the only one I even go so far as to tell that she’s good in bed, and that’s as detailed as it gets.

  4. I like the idea of guys telling their friends to “man up” and stop complaining – it’s advice women can benefit from! Guys are much quicker to cut their losses, which is another thing we can learn to do. Not to be mean, but just not to get involved in such emotional rollercoasters.

  5. Seriously, you guys are gonna complain about women “stereotyping” you – geez, we’ve been putting up with that crap forever — practice what you preach

  6. @cremebrulee67 That’s the point cremebrulee67. We’re trying, but it goes both ways. Do you not realize you just told us to practice what we preach while defending women stereotyping men? So..if you’re telling us to practice what we preach, that means you’re fine with men stereotyping women? The entire point of what I said was that it’s ridiculous that women feel perfectly comfortable placing men into stereotypes, but are extremely quick to pick up arms over men doing the same to them.

  7. It sometimes amazes me what guys talk about.If it does not its just the usual guy thats why I and other women should pick our men very carefully!Use your brains ladies!!!I’m pretty sure some of you women out there want the right, nice, smart, adorable guy so always, always do your best to get there!

  8. I quite enjoy having conversations and friendships with men. I find them alot more chilled than my female friends, who are quite often uptight and divulge too much information. Whereas I’m more like a guy… I tend not to divulge too much unless it’s joking around. My girlfriends on the other hand? Sometimes I’ve had to tell them “TMI!” hahaha xx

  9. stereotyping is natural..sorry, but every person we see and talk to on a daily basis falls into some kind of category we have in our own little heads. We know not all guys are the same just like you know all girls are not the same. Stop crying, if something doesn’t apply to you then you should be able to laugh about it.

  10. Yeah..we should laugh about it. Because it’s funny when society as a whole decides that people are a certain way and are influenced by that belief. It’s a damned good thing we pay women less for work because they can’t handle the emotional stress of the corporate world. It’s also good that we understand that all men are stupid, can’t find their keys or survive on a day to day basis without women to help them. While we’re on the subject, we should all remember that Jews are greedy and have huge noses and black people are all ignorant savages who are only good for playing sports, raping people and doing drugs. Funny stuff isn’t it? You’re undoubtedly correct though, historically speaking things have always gotten better when the population just ignores problems and lets them go away on their own. The citizens of the US are being very effectively taught never to stand up for what they believe in or for themselves, because it’s uncivilized and rude to cause a scene. It’s better to just go with the flow and let people say and do exactly what they want.

  11. I have often wondered what guys talk about when the gals aren’t around. I can say that when we girls get together and start talking, it is usually extremely vulger, and I am sure most men would be seriously stunned to hear it. Our mouths would put any porn to shame, which leads me to wonder if it isn’t a female version of porn. I feel bad about the guys being negatively stereotyped, for myself I think men are wonderful…life would be pretty lonely and crappy with out them.

  12. Wow, I must be an unnatural women, because I never talk about sex with my girlfriends.
    Maybe just another sign of age creeping up on me! I’d much rather talk politics than sex, except with my husband.

  13. You know, sex-talks are always kinda awkward, 'cause I'm asexual. When the guys around me are like "Wowww! She's so hot!" and stuff like that I'm like "Hmmm, if you say so…! She has a nice body, yes…"
    I love geek-talk though.
    And I think men are more direct when they dislike something, while women -at least as far as I've noticed- try to gossip behind one's back or say it more 'gently', like "I don't know about those pants, the colour doesn't really suit you", while most guys just plain-out say it looks ugly and they shouldn't wear it if they don't want to look like a fool.

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