Why I Lie to My Bikini Waxer

Nicole Christie explains why she feels the need to lie to her bikini waxer.
1 / 2

Why I Lie to My Bikini Waxer

Back by popular demand! This is one of those great stories that never gets old … enjoy!

-Nicole Christie


I was never much into waxing until I moved to New York. Back in Seattle–land of polar fleece and Birkenstocks–nether-region body hair was only an issue if it was hanging out of your bathing suit. In New York, it’s an issue if it exists at all.

And so I got hooked on the Brazilian (or semi-Brazilian – think Chiclet) – courtesy of a petite Russian woman named Natasha. She is quick, impeccable, and at just $30, her waxes are a somewhat well-kept New York secret. I faithfully visit her every four weeks and twist myself into various labor-and-delivery-like positions as she works her defuzzing action – all the while guiding me with Lamaze breathing.

Read Bikini Waxing 101

“Deep in…and PUSH!” she barks as I inhale sharply, then exhale with force as she rips the muslin from my skin. This technique effectively distracts me from the pain – as does Natasha’s Vulvic Small Talk. At first, this was limited to the weather, my plans for the weekend, and whether I had any vacations lined up. But on the third visit, she ventured into the seriously personal.

“And how is zee monster?” she asked.

I lifted my head and stared down at her, puzzled. “I don’t have one.”

“No monster?” she said, eyebrows raised. “I thought you had monster.”

“No, I don’t have kids.”

“No, no,” she laughed. “Not kids. Monster. Boyfriend.”

“Oh,” I replied. “I don’t have a boyfriend either.”

“Oh…no monster. Is too bad,” she said, slathering wax onto my groin.

follow BettyConfidential on... Pinterest

Read More About...
Related Articles...

0 thoughts on “Why I Lie to My Bikini Waxer

  1. one time my waxer asked me about my boyfriend and i replied that we just broke up and she totally gave me this look like “then what the hell are we doing here?!” so yes, i would def. lie too!

  2. i just got a bikini wax for the seoncd time in my life. the first i got about five years ago and sWORE i’d never do it again because it hurt so much. i tried it again last week and don’t think i’m going to be able to do it for another five years.it hurts!!!!! does it get any better?

  3. waxing totally gets better needcoffee! it’s the first time that hurts the most, if you went routinely it wouldn’t hurt so bad the 2nd time and would get easier each time.

  4. I’ve never had a bikini wax. sadly, now I don’t think I ever will thanks to Steve Carell’s painful wax experience in The 40 Year Old Virgin haha

  5. I have never went for a Wax down there, I wanted too. But the pain well im a baby cant handle that so I wont do it. I just shave shave shave, And even though I hate it, I have no choice so I do it. And I have a man, He is always asking when will I go get waxed. After 13 years you would think he would know by now it is never going to happen.
    Patty M

  6. As a woman of a certain age, I can’t do it. Legs and “pits, sure, but men of a certain age say they don’t like it, a little too much like being with a child.

Leave a Reply

top of page jump to top