A Man's Perspective on Women's Dating Advice

Why are women so terrible at understanding what other women want?
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A Man’s Perspective on Women’s Dating Advice

Why are women so terrible at understanding what other women want?

-Justin DeMarco


The first time I realized women were not experts at sizing up other women was when I asked a girl to hang out “in town” with me. At 15, I couldn’t drive, couldn’t afford a fancy dinner, but I could buy her an Italian ice at Gee Wiz. I had everything planned out. I’d walk to her house and then we’d walk into town together. (Maybe I’d even hold her hand or put my arm around her as we walked.)

Well, I received a text the day before our big night on the town, or I should probably say, in the town. She couldn’t make it. Her family had plans they didn’t tell her about and she was “soooo sorry.” I figured that made sense. My family had sprung plans on me out of nowhere before. So, I tried again. She couldn’t make it.

I figured I’d better not ask her anymore and told my mom the details of my failed dating efforts. She persuaded me to keep trying.

 “Something probably came up,” my mom said. “She probably has a good reason.”

Against my intuition, I asked for a third time and the girl even said she was looking forward to it, maybe my mom was right! Then the girl never showed.

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I sat in town by myself for twenty minutes, texted her, received no response, and walked back home, alone. Later that night, she texted me she didn’t have access to her cell phone and we should still hang out another time.

My mom told me to go for it again. I did. Same result. The girl no-showed once more.

I told my grandpa the story.  And he told me where I went wrong. 

“If a girl cancels on you once, that’s okay. Give her the benefit of the doubt,” he said. “If she gives you the run around more than once, forget about her and move on to the next one. “

If I would have known my grandpa’s advice sooner, I would have saved myself the embarrassment of my plans constantly falling through, the girl the effort of making up lame excuses for a date she didn’t want to go on, and my mom the annoyance of me pestering her about the awful dating advice she gave. I should have also known my mom probably thinks every girl in the world would want to date me because, after all, I’m her son.

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0 thoughts on “A Man's Perspective on Women's Dating Advice

  1. I think this depends on the situation. If you’re at a bar, a girl can tell which other women are looking to get picked up and which aren’t. That’s probably when they’ll help the most as your wingwoman… but if they slap the girl’s ass, you’re on your own! Good article!

  2. Ssh, Candace, stop giving away our secrets!
    Let guys go on believing that it’s just “bad advice.”

    And really, Dave…really?
    “With women, something as fragile as the weather completely disrupts their thought process.”
    That’s a low blow.

  3. @ singingnymph I think he was probably had a specific girl in mind, but I agree its kind of unfair, she probably just has S.A.D.

    That said my experience shows this article is like 60% right, girls have no idea how hard you make picking up on you for us. You give us constant red herrings and often are oblivious to the obvious and read FAR too much in to the subtle. I find girls do however usually have a better sense of what another girl is thinking or feeling than guys do. But you girls have almost no idea what guys should do about it, and have a horrible sense of what is inappropriate or offensive. I’m remembering another article that I read on here earlier that said girls hate it when guys always ask “what’s wrong?”, “what would make you happy?”, or “what would you like?” because you seldom know yourselves. If you did you could fix it. Men tend to know what is upsetting them and what they want, it is REALLY difficult for us to understand that you often don’t.

  4. Of course your Mom thinks you’re perfect; after all, you ARE her beloved son! 😉
    Regarding the uncertain young lady, maybe she isn’t allowed to date but is too embarrassed to tell you? The fact she actually texted you at night shows you were on her mind. Or maybe she’s super-shy when confronted with a date? Why not just hang out with her and chat for a few times before “casually” suggesting meeting her somewhere else? Personally, if she keeps responding to you, you are on her mind! 😉 If she doesn’t want to bother with you, she’ll simply IGNORE your attemps to contact her. Imho, of course! 😉 Good luck and NEVER give up on the Gentle Gender. Even though we *can* be tough… or just shy… we’re definitely worth it! 😉

  5. Nice article, i love Danielle. Seriously though no matter how much you like a girl, give her two chances. She cancels on you once brush it off, it happens to everyone. She cancels on you twice, hey crap happens, but leave the ball in her court after that. As she’s canceling that second date, tell her how much you were looking forward to hanging out with her (but don’t over do it cause you’ll look desperate) but you understand she has things to do. THEN tell her whenever she has time, to call you up to hang out. After that conversation, delete her number from your phone so even if you wanted to be stupid and try calling her, you can’t. If she likes you, she’ll call. In the meantime, as my favorite poet Jay-Z says “on to the next one”.

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