Aching to Be Engaged

What Would Debbie Do? Aching to Be Engaged    Dear Debbie, I really want to be engaged to my boyfriend. I love him so much and can’t see myself spending the rest of my life with anyone else. He says he wants to be engaged too, but that he’s saving money for a nice engagement […]

What Would Debbie Do?

Aching to Be Engaged

   Dear Debbie,

I really want to be engaged to my boyfriend. I love him so much and can’t see myself spending the rest of my life with anyone else. He says he wants to be engaged too, but that he’s saving money for a nice engagement ring. I told him I’d take any ring, even one from the 25-cent machine at the movie theater, and he can keep saving his money for a diamond at a later point. You see, it’s not a shiny rock I want, it’s him! I also don’t want him to blow all his hard-earned cash on a ring right now when he’s got a mortgage and a car payment to make. Do you think he could be using the “no money for a ring” excuse to avoid getting engaged? I told him I don’t care about the ring, so what else could it be?

                               –Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I can tell from the tone of your question that you really want to be engaged. So much so, that I think you’re missing the point. Sounds like your boyfriend is a traditionalist—the kind that wants to get on one knee and ask you to marry him with all the proper things in place. My kind of guy. Don’t mess it up by telling him how to do it. This is one of the most important decisions a man will make in his life. Don’t try to control or dictate how he should do it. Plus, if you keep badgering him, you just might ruin it. Give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not side-stepping the commitment issue by using a “no money for a ring” excuse. I assume you wouldn’t want to marry him unless he was trustworthy, loyal and committed. I say let the process proceed at his pace, without any more interference from you. Don’t take that away from him-it’s slightly emasculating. This is his show; let him perform it the way he sees fit.


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