In Her Words
And Then There Were Three
When friendship is a family affair
By: Julie Ryan Evans
I’ve never had a problem making friends, and throughout my life I have gathered an amazing array of them that I treasure dearly. These friendships evolved organically as we gravitated toward each other.
Then I got married.
Suddenly, finding “couple friends” was the task, and a much harder one at that. Now there weren’t just two people who had to click but four. While we’ve definitely found some good ones, I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been disappointed that such a cool guy could have chosen such a dull, rude, annoying (choose your negative adjective) partner or vice versa. And I’m sure some have felt the same way about us!
Adding to the challenge was the birth of my son. Now on the agenda is finding family friends, an even more challenging feat. Not only do you and your spouse want to enjoy both of the parents, but you also have to make sure your children don’t hate/torture/kill each other. And the older kids get, the more opinions they have about who they want to hang out with- – too old, too young, too much a girl. Furthermore, I’m starting to realize there are kids I just don’t like or who I think are a bad influence on my son – even though they have lovely parents.
I will always have my own friends, based on whom I like, whom I can depend on and who interests me regardless of how much I like their spouses or their child or lack thereof. Those are the easy ones. I know there will be family friends who evolve naturally, too, but I suspect they will be fewer and farther between. For the most part, I think those friends will take more effort and perhaps a little more tolerance.