ASK REAL GUYS
Do You Think He's Cheating?
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: My boyfriend has stopped being as attentive for no apparent reason. I've told him I miss how he used to be more eager to spend time with me, but he says I'm imagining it. Now he says he's going to be too busy to see me for at least another week and a half. Since he lives 70 miles away, our schedules (work/kids) make it impossible for even a short visit. He's cheated on me before. Should I assume he's cheating again? Or am I making more out of this because I can't trust him?
Steven: He is most likely cheating on you. There are two kind of cheaters: men who cheat because of a particular situation (i.e., something that's wrong with the relationship); and then there are cheaters, men who chronically desire other women and act on those feelings. The first kind can possibly be cured; the second you are better off running in the opposite direction.
To understand the difference, ask him, "Given you have cheated on me in the past and given you are now distancing yourself, how can I know and trust you're not cheating on me?" If he gets defensive or starts blaming you and/or doesn't want to provide you with details or offer a workable solution, chances are he is or will soon be cheating on you. Remember, if you don't stand up for yourself you can bet he won't be standing up for you.
