In Her Words

The Biggest Loser

Careful, TV can eat you alive!

By: Jenny M. Montalbano

Weakened by the bronchitis symptoms of a fever, congested sinus and sore throat, I lay slumped on my comfortable old couch in my frumpy pajamas, staring mesmerized at the flashy images beaming from my 19-inch television. My fuzzy brain, unable to concentrate, continuously clicks the remote in my catatonic state, stopping only on whatever catches my short attention span.

I stop to watch the attractive and slender men and women give testimonials about the amazing six-week body-makeover diet program. It's then I realize just how overweight and out of shape I am. But if I buy this product I'll lose fat and gain a fun and exciting new life filled with friends and romance.

Next click, I stop to watch the attractive woman on QVC demonstrate an amazing and revolutionary new vacuum cleaner. It's then that I realize just how dirty my apartment is. But if I buy this product I'll have a sparkling, dust-free home that my friends will want to spend time in, especially so they can lie on my floors.

I watch a commercial with an attractive young girl boasting how her new tampons allow her to lead a carefree and fun-filled life, even when she has her period. That's when I realize I've been using the wrong tampon. But if I buy this product, I, too, can swing on swings in white pants and walk along the beach at sunset with a handsome man.

As the tampon commercial leads into Dateline NBC, my weary brain fixates on Stone Phillips' melodic voice narrating the story of a Midwestern woman with an extremely rare and deadly disease. For years she suffered due to her doctor's inability to pinpoint her illness, which began with the common bronchitis symptoms of a fever, congested sinus and sore throat.

Maybe I, too, have that disease! Or maybe it's just time to turn off the TV.