I'm Losing It

Mark Foley: How NOT to Apologize

The Ex-Congressman says he's sorry - sorta

-Judy McGuire

Doesn't anyone know how to apologize anymore? Former congressman Mark Foley is back in the news, two years after being busted for sending lewd emails to teenage boys working at the Capitol. If you were thinking he'd be repentant and bursting with apologies, you'd be wrong. In an interview with the AP, Foley insisted, "These were 17-year-olds, just months from being men." Yes, and I'm betting that once they were legal, these boys would become markedly less attractive to you - otherwise you would've waited.

Here is the correct way to apologize for sending lewd text messages to underage Capitol Hill pages: "I am deeply sorry for what I've done. It was inappropriate and inexcusable. I apologize to the voters who trusted me, my colleagues who supported me, and my family, whom I've completely humiliated - but most of all, I apologize to the children who were entrusted to my care. I have betrayed you, and I promise right now to get the psychiatric help I so obviously desperately need."

Jot that down, Mark. Recite as necessary. As for you mothers out there, mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be congressional pages.