10 Reasons Why John Mayer Should Stop. Talking. Now.

We're not holding our breath or anything, but here goes. If all else fails, there's always duct tape.
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10 Reasons Why John Mayer Should Stop. Talking. Now.

We’re not holding our breath or anything, but here goes. If all else fails, there’s always duct tape.

-Megan Lynn

John Mayer

Uh-oh. John Mayer opened up his mouth in front of a reporter. Again. Can’t bring yourself to sort through all the reasons why this guy needs to put a lid on it? Read our top 10 list, complete with complimentary Mayer foot-in-mouth moments.

1. He kisses and tells.

Jessica Simpson

Or to be more accurate, John Mayer kisses and broadcasts in the crassest terms imaginable to the nearest national media outlet. Take this gem about ex Jessica Simpson, from his interview in the March issue of Playboy that has everyone talking:

“That girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f–kin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f–k you, I would start selling all my s–t just to keep f–king you.”

Read John Mayer’s Still a Player

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0 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why John Mayer Should Stop. Talking. Now.

  1. Woo hoo hoo, that John Mayer is a trip. He’s the kind of guy you keep reading about because he looks so naively boynextdoor but in his interviews, he comes across as a sex-crazed Micheal Douglas, Eric Benet clone.

    I bet Jessica Simpson has men lined up at her door now.

  2. I’m with Jen -lets go back to 1998 when no one had ever heard of John Mayer.

    I also think John meant to say that he has a “f-ing DAISY DUKE co**”! And someone please explain what napalm means to Jess – he’s not calling you a tree sweetie…

  3. I think have all the John Mayer music in my collection that I’ll ever buy. Thank goodness he never opened his mouth before releasing his first few albums or we never would have enjoyed the music. He needs to stick to music & get off his personal soap box.

  4. Poor guy. I don’t think he knows himself. And how can he love anyone unless he knows and loves himself? Instead he just blathers on (diarrhea of the mouth, as they say); it’s a nervous tic.

  5. Suuuuch a pig! Although I never really was convinced otherwise, he really is a shallow, little man. And he got more tail way back when, doing local shows? REALLY?! From what I remember, when he first came on the scene he was chubby and acne-ridden.

  6. “It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.”

    If one is trying to “intellectualize” something, doesn’t one have to be an intellectual first?

    It’s good that he can’t shut up. If he ever wonders why he’s alone, someone can drop a thick stack of his tweets and interviews in his lap and say “Figure it out, genius.”

  7. Relax, you guys, Mayer is just rushing on his power as a pop icon. Poor baby, he has a really bad case of emotional immaturity that will take years to fix. But he is on his roll and thinks he is now a great pundit. You need to send him this column in 10 years and ask for a comment. Maybe by then he’ll be able to cop to being an insufferably self-centered bore….then again he may be so dumb that way that he will never catch on.Still he is a fine musician and that is what he should stick with.

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