10 Things about Men We Learned from Men’s Magazines
We flipped through countless pages of half-naked women and “bacon porn” in order to uncover some truths about the men in our lives.
I’ve always thought the best way to learn more about men is to go directly to the source. Think about it — if men were to read BettyConfidential’s love+sex section or Cosmopolitan (though, with a grain of salt), they’d read about how we still like to be taken out to romantic dinners even if we’ve been dating for what seems like forever, and that some of us have never found our G-spot, but we welcome our men to try.
So, with this in mind, I decided to read through the November issues of the most popular men’s magazines to see if there was something on those pages that could teach us women a little bit more about the opposite sex. Here’s what I found:
1. Their morning wood has little to do with waking up next to us.
It’s disappointing, but true. According to Men’s Health, men wake up to Mr. Woody not because they feel a warm, sexy body next to them, but because of what happened in the middle of the night. As it turns out, during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep, men tend to have hot and steamy dreams — an average of three to five per night! If your guy wakes up during the final REM cycle, he’ll find he’s pitched a tent — and you’ll feel a suggestive “nudge nudge” in your back.
2. They appreciate a solo night in just as much as we do.
We’re often led to believe that guys enjoy a night in doing nothing just about as much as they enjoy holding our purses as we drag them through the mall. But, as a GQ writer claims, he actually looks forward to a night at home by himself. His “Big Night In” includes listening to vinyl records with ESPN on mute, while he sips a martini, talks to his high school buddy on the phone, or reads a book. No women or bromance playdates necessary.
3. They really do listen to us — sometimes.
As Maxim’s monthly sex column proves, men will read what a woman has to say – as long as it has to do with sex. This month, Maxim’s female columnist tells male readers just how much we enjoy having numerous romps and are willing to try kinky new things while on vacation. C’mon, you can’t argue with that. We just hope guys don’t abuse that wealth of information. (Though, sorry to say boys, what these girls are doing on vacation is probably going to remain in your fantasies only…).
4. They text us during the day because that’s what they’re told to do.
One guy asked Men’s Health for advice on how to save his relationship — he’s been slammed at work and is putting in long hours and thus is worried his girlfriend may leave him. MH’s “Jimmy The Bartender” gave the following advice: “Risking your work rep for her is a high price — right now, at least. So do little things for her during the day. Drop her a nice text or e-mail every so often.” It’s not the hardest concept in the world, so why can’t they think of that on their own?!
5. They like cougars.
Young women, beware: if you want a man your own age, you’re going to have to fend off the cougars to get him. This past August, at the First Annual Cougar Conference held in Palo Alto, CA, Details found that cougars are the new intrigue for men, as countless “cubs” made an appearance to try and snag older women. “Girls in their twenties will just lay there,” said one young man. “They won’t reach down. They won’t work to get you aroused. They kinda just don’t care. That makes me feel like a sleazeball.” But with a cougar, he says, it’s a different story: “I’d never met a woman [before] who wanted to do everything to me, and she was so good at it.” Yikes!