10 Tips to Stop Falling Apart After A Breakup
Put yourself back together after a bad relationship one step at a time.
We’ve all been there: the disastrous break up. You spend your nights sobbing into ice cream while watching horrifically bad rom-com movies. You’ve spent your days talking about the break up with anyone and everyone who’d listen. It’s gotten to the point where you tune yourself out when you start talking about it. How do you move on? How do you get over the hurt?
Caird Urquhart, author of 30 Ways To Better Days: How To Rally After You’ve Been Dumped has 10 tips on how to get yourself and your life back on track.
1. Remove all evidence
Things can often carry more weight than the relationship itself. Do you have stuff in your closet you just can’t part with? Do you feel if you throw it away you will be discarding a memory or the relationship associated with that memory? No object can replace your memories. Your ex is gone, so their stuff should be gone too. Clean up your surroundings so you have a fresh start.
2. Spend time with people who don’t know your story
Spending time doing something new with fresh people can break you of the habit of talking about your ex. If these people don’t know you they won’t be talking about your relationship. You will also get to enjoy a new experience which may open up all kinds of possibilities.
3. Plan ahead
Often on the heels of a breakup we experience good days and bad days. On the good days plan ahead, so on the bad days when you don’t feel like doing anything, you will because you have already committed to doing so. Just the act of getting up and out will help to lift your spirits.
Regardless of your budget, there is always something you can do to freshen up your home. Even simply moving your bed so you wake up each morning looking in a different direction can dramatically alter your mood.
Exercise is good for your mind, body and spirit. Your body deserves your attention. Love it and it will love you back. When you feel good physically your self confidence will get a boost too.
6. Don’t ask
You do not need to know what your ex is up too. Don’t ask your friends; When did you see him? Who was he with? Does he look happy? And so on. Even a trusted source will only know half of the real story. Don’t set yourself up this way. Spend your time building your own life and not being curious about your ex’s.
A rewarding job, whether volunteer or paying is a wonderful distraction. It can occupy your mind so you can escape the constant marry-go-round of thought about your past relationship. If you work hard at something you love, time will pass and you could come out the other end ahead in life and occupation.
8. Don’t play the victim
You may feel like the victim, just don’t play the part. The sooner you can claim responsibility for your life the sooner you can change it. Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens because of you. Take charge of your day to day behaviour and you will go from rut to rockin’.
9. Reignite your passions
Are there things you love to do that your ex didn’t enjoy like travel, art class or tennis? Take advantage of your freedom and sign up for those activities you love. Get out and do them now.
10. Change your routine
Even the smallest change in your day to day routine will shift your perspective and start to pull you out of your rut. Take a different route to work, change what you eat in the morning, invite someone new to join you for lunch, stop watching TV with dinner. Mix it up and see what new ideas and opportunities come into your life.
Tell us: what do you do to get over a breakup?
PJ Gach is Senior Editor: Style + Beauty at BettyConfidential.