5 Steamy Phone Sex Tips

Whether you are in a long-distance relationship, or live together, phone sex can spice up your love life.
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phone sexForeplay: Phone sex should progress like regular sex. Going from how was your day to “I want it rough” is too jarring. It’s best to start small. “Begin with clothing,” says Nancy. “It’s kind of a cheesy cliché, but it’s the easiest.” Ask your guy what he’s wearing, tell him you wish you could see him without his shirt on, or ask what he would do if you were to take your shirt off. Think about how sex usually starts, and talk about those types of activities (kissing, undressing, etc.).

The main event: Now for the meat and potatoes of phone sex: What the hell do you say? The biggest myth about phone sex is that you have to describe sex as though it were actually happening. Many people feel dumb having to say, “You’re doing me so hard right now,” when in fact you’re just doing yourself. In reality, the majority of phone sex isn’t describing what is happening, so much as what would happen if you two were together. Most phone-sexers agree that phone sex dialogs usually fall into one of two categories: either instructional or Q&A. Instructional lines are “I want to ____” or “I wish you were ______ing me right now.” Q&A lines are if/then statements, such as, “If I did this, what would you do to me?” Tara, 31, who has been in a long-distance relationship for three years, suggests “choosing statements that give a visual image of what is happening.” It’s having the visual image, and the excitement of what you would do to each other that is ultimately arousing.

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Taking it to the next level: Couples who are technologically advanced – or are already accomplished phone-sexers – can bump up the experience by doing it over Skype or via webcam, adding a real-time visual element to what’s happening. Some women find that the webcam makes phone sex easier to get into. “When I was able to see my boyfriend’s face and how he was reacting, I felt a lot less like a creep. It wasn’t like I was just texting or talking dirty to some guy on the other line,” says Nancy. “It helped to solidify that I was actually doing this with my boyfriend.” With video you have the option of not just talking to your guy about what he would do, but actually showing him what you’re doing to yourself.

Not only is phone sex the perfect way to keep the spark alive when you and your partner can’t be together, but it’s also a hot way to let your man know what really turns you on. After all that instruction, when you finally are together, he’ll know exactly what you wish he’d do to you.

BettyConfidential’s Sexpert Amber Madison is a sex educator and author of Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality, and Talking Sex With Your Kids.


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8 thoughts on “5 Steamy Phone Sex Tips

  1. Carolyn88 says:

    Great tips!

  2. vegita6879 says:

    Yep phone sex is very steamy, but me and my BF move from phone sex to the internet!! We log in MSN hotmail messenger, connect the web cam ( so we can actually see and hear each other)and you know heheh!!! I prefer the web cam!!!

  3. fdlynch says:

    Now what if your partner is more into the story lines? Then what?

  4. candy1 says:

    2 me phone sex is the thing 4 me and the guy im talking with.

  5. seo toronto says:

    Leave the peanut butter in the pantry and save the costumes for Halloween, Dirty In Public offers sex tips for the rest of us! Ditch the crazy antics and suit up for action because having game in the bedroom doesn’t require a player.

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  7. Chellene says:

    These are some great phone sex tips!!

  8. These are really nice sex phone tips! This will phone sexing with someone more adventurous, kinky and playful!

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