Encore Please: 5 Sure-Fire Ways to Score a Second Date
Sometimes you don’t WANT a second date … but for those times when you do, here are 5 no-fail tips.
-Jill Rachel Jacobs
It was the perfect first date. He was on time, he was sublime and he said he would call. You felt a familiar queasiness during dinner, but this time it wasn’t from the guacamole and refried beans, but from those old familiar butterflies … Could he be the one?
Four days later, you find yourself staring longingly at the phone, checking your cell repeatedly for a text message while signing onto your Facebook page every few minutes to see if he poked you. He didn’t.
What went wrong? There are a myriad of reasons why there may be no follow-up to what appeared to be the perfect first last date. From poor timing to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, you may never know why he didn’t dial your digits and it may have little to do with you.
But there are a few simple guidelines you can follow that will not only increase your chances of landing a second date, but also a third and forth, and … who knows?
1. Give Good … Conversation
Simple rule of thumb: Listen half as much as you talk.
In other words, if you find your voice is becoming hoarse, you’re on the verge of laryngitis and you haven’t even finished your salad yet, you may want to give your vocal chords some R&R and your date a chance to play a little catch up.
Jeremy, 34, lawyer, Brooklyn: I was recently set up with a friend’s roommate who was a knock-out—but she ended up talking non-stop about herself the entire evening. I don’t think she asked one thing about me except how I felt about this season’s American Idol winner. I can overlook a lot of things, but not seeming interested in me? An obvious deal breaker.
2. Avoid Money Talk
Ladies, don’t talk salary on a first date. Not only is it impolite, but it’s none of your business how much he makes or what’s in his stock portfolio. Save money matters for a later date — like when you’re filing jointly or sharing a bank account.
Joshua, 43, Investment Banker, New York: I have had women ask me if I pay alimony and child support on a first date. I can understand their general interest in my personal life since we’re seeing if we click, but it just feels a little invasive as if they’re sizing me up financially which I also find kind of offensive.