8 Biggest Sex Myths

What's true and what's not when it comes to sex? Read on!
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8 Biggest Sex Myths

What’s true and what’s not when it comes to sex? Read on!

-Amber Madison

A couple in bed

When it comes to sex, we let ourselves believe all sorts of things (“It’s not like he’s a stranger, we don’t need a condom.” “You’re right, honey, you do have the biggest dick in the country.”) But many of our assumptions turn out to be completely false. Here are the 8 biggest sex myths – debunked:

1. You should get off every time. Sure orgasms are great. But it’s OK not to have one every time, and it doesn’t mean you’re having bad sex. New York-based sex therapist Dr. Joy Davidson, author of the book Fearless Sex, believes sex that’s focused around orgasms is “goal-oriented sex, not mindful sex. When the sole focus is getting off,” she says, “it’s basically focusing on getting it over with.” It’s not about the destination, ladies, it’s about the journey. As long as sex is pleasurable, it’s OK if he doesn’t see your O face every time.

Read In Search of the Big “O”

2. We’re sleeping together; he shouldn’t be jerking off to porn. Masturbation is part of a healthy sex life, even a sex life that’s seeing lots of action. It’s important to understand that a guy often needs a visual element to help him, which means porn may be part of his life too, even if he’s completely into you. “Masturbation is about zoning out, self-soothing or relaxing before going to bed,” says Dr. Davidson. “When he watches porn, it’s not about love, and it’s not even about being attracted to someone else.” Watching sex is a turn-on that allows him to get the job done quicker. Just because he watches porn doesn’t mean he likes the idea of having sex with other women or that he isn’t satisfied with you.

3. I won’t get an STD if I have sex with someone I know. The logic works so well at the time: “I know him. He’s cute. I like him. There’s no way he has an STD.” But consider the fact that more than half of all people contract an STD in their lifetime – and those people aren’t hiding away from the rest of society. The truth is, the kind of people who have STDs are the kind of people who know other people… possibly even you. Guys (and girls) of all types, races and income brackets can have an STD. Just because you know him doesn’t make it safe to have sex without a condom.


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17 thoughts on “8 Biggest Sex Myths

  1. FBNYC says:

    4. Men have a greater sex drive than women. – never believed that one!

  2. sabina says:

    A friend of mine contracted an STD while in a relationship of 3 years. He has cheated on her. Goes to show you should always get checked, no matter how comfortable the relationship.

  3. Dude says:

    My widow neighbor lets me massage her feet and worship them, but that’s all. She goes to the Student Center at local and picks up dudes for quickie anonymous sex. I’m torn-up about this! e-mail on my profile.

  4. BMcCook says:

    Porn is NOT part of a healthy sexuality. It is linked to sexual addiction, sexual crimes and emotional and psychological damage. Our society is allowing people to become victimized by porn and calling it normal. People need to realize the truth.

  5. bslawski says:

    @BMcCook
    Fun fact about porn: it’s not actually a new thing.
    The Romans and Greeks both created murals depicting lewd sexual acts, and similar paintings have been found in Chinese ruins. Stories involving depraved sex acts are numerous throughout history, including a tale by the miller in Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales.” Upon the invention of the video projector, numerous gentlemen’s clubs began showing pornographic movies on a regular basis, and soon the majority of films made were pornographic. In all the these examples, the sexual acts being described are taboo or otherwise alarming. The point of this comment? Humans have, and always will, feel a sexual urge for things outside social norms, and porn serves as a relatively healthy outlet for this urge. Would you rather have a man watch paid actors doing despicable things, or instead have him go out and try to force these things on women? I’m not saying porn is good, just that its the lesser of two evils.

  6. MrGone says:

    @BMcCook…Since probably 99.9% of guys watch some form of porn, saying porn is linked to *insert word here* is like saying water is linked.

  7. spatula says:

    Have to argue a bit with number 8. Not that it’s life threatening or anything. But you can get blue balls just from being highly aroused for a long. You don’t have to be about to cum in your pants.

    And masturbating doesn’t make the pain go away. It dulls the pain, but it is still incredibly uncomfortable for a long while. You definitely don’t want to be walking around while you are feeling it.

    I’m not saying that women should be feeling obligated to get men off. We can certainly handle that ourselves if the need arises. There is just a wider range in regards to the manifestation of blue balls than this article leads you to believe.

  8. gigashadowwolf says:

    @ BMcCook I’m going to have to ask for your sources for this claim. As a practicing psychologist and a licensed psychiatrist. I assure you you could not be much further from the truth. Studies show repressed sexuality early in life is much more likely to cause “sex addiction” than porn. Having access to porn. Sex addiction is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days. It is really more of a symptom of disorders than a disorder in and of itself. For example frequently men who feel that sex is something develop insecurities where they become “sex addicts” in order to attempt to prove to themselves their worth, and superiority.
    In response to your second issue with porn I wish this was untrue. As with most industries there are cases of people being taken advantage of. However this doesn’t even begin to compare to the atrocities present in almost every other industry. The child labor of the textile and fashion industry for example. Or the abuse and mutilations behind the “Blood Diamonds”. Porn stars in the U.S. actually tend to have better benefits than the typical worker except that the risky personality type usually associated with this industry is also a high risk for drug use. But that has much more to do with the shame people like you attach to it than anything else.

  9. jessmop says:

    I don’t think porn is unhealthy. I don’t even mind to know that my boyfriend looks at it occasionally – I look at it too! I know from first-hand experience that it has nothing to do with being attracted to anyone other than my boyfriend or wanting to be with someone else. Watching sex happen just puts me in the mood is all. It’s not like either of us watch it all the time – we’re not sex addicts.

  10. klossg says:

    #2 I can agree with all but #2. Porn is as good for a loving/sexual relationship as hate and poison. The person who wrote this is a guy who wanks it and wants everyone to wank it. Sexual intimacy with a person is as close to heaven as we can get. Don’t pretend you can reduce it because you like to wank it. Understand that wanking it has nothing to do with sharing heaven and everything to do with being selfish and alone.

  11. SavageS0ul says:

    I agree with #10. There is absolutely NO reason to masturbate when U love someone & are intimate with someone. Your view is irrelevant. U should only have ONE “turn on” & that is your significant other. There just is no reason to masturbate when you have someone else, simple as that. Besides, to be turned on, includes arousal, you can’t have arousal without thinking of someone else & U can’t just picture your wife or your girlfriend when there is a very clear active image of another woman RIGHT THERE in front of you in the porn that is quite difficult to ignore. It’s all just common sense people. People need to stop giving excuses for potential perverts/cheaters. It’s disgusting, develop some sense of morals.

  12. akiko says:

    @SavageSoul — That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. You sound totally insecure. I’ve watched porn, and never visualized anyone at all. Nor have I ever cheated. You speak in such broad general terms it boarders on jaded chick that got cheated on and is venting it here.

    Masturbation is also a normal and healthy part of life, be it a single or involved individual. I guess if a man’s wife is too far into her pregnancy to have sex he should suffer in his urges and abstain from giving himself some relief? Or a woman shouldn’t self-pleasure if her S.O. isn’t in the mood.. yes, guys aren’t ALWAYS in the mood.

    If you are the type to be jealous of a woman he’ll never see or meet, you should seek some type of help for your self-esteem issues. Besides, there is usually a man on that screen too.

    I used to think like that, until I watched it with my S.O because he asked me to watch with him.. didn’t take long before we weren’t even looking at the TV anymore.

    So keep your guilt ridden comments to yourself. People can think you are foolish, but you can only prove them right by opening your mouth. Good job. ~_^

  13. slagathor says:

    Completely disagree with #2. Healthy, functioning relationships that involve regular sex do not see either partner retiring to the living room to wank off to a porno. I’m sorry but no.

  14. Your Hero says:

    #8 is false. I can tell this article was written by a woman who has never had blue balls. It’s true that blue balls are not life-threatening. However, making out, dry humping and feeling around “down there” then not getting off is absolutely the #1 way to get blue balls. Don’t tease, ladies. If you start something, be ready to go all the way. Imagine getting a jewlery box and then you open it only to find that it’s empty. Think about it.

  15. Your Hero says:

    #8 is false. I can tell this article was written by a woman who had never gotten blue balls. It’s true that blue balls are not life-threatening. However, making out, dry humping and feeling around “down there” and nothing else is the #1 way to get blue balls. Please, don’t tease, ladies. Imagine getting a jewlery box, but when you open it, it’s empty. Think about it.

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