A Girl's Guide to Masturbation

Being able to satisfy and be satisfied starts with becoming comfortable with your own body. Don't be afraid to dive in and give yourself a little love.
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A Girl’s Guide to Masturbation

Being able to satisfy and be satisfied starts with becoming comfortable with your own body. Don’t be afraid to dive in and give yourself a little love.

-Sarah Polonsky 

A Girl's Guide to Masturbation

 “What’s wrong with masturbation? It’s sex with someone I love.” So said Woody Allen in the classic film Annie Hall. And still, more than thirty years later, we could not agree more. It’s telling that Annie herself didn’t speak those words – while it’s an accepted practice for men to get down and dirty with themselves, women are resistant to self-pleasuring. We’re even taught to think that it’s naughty. But how will you ever help a man figure out what makes you tick if you don’t find out for yourself? It’s the 21st century, ladies! The time has come for those antiquated worries to go the way of the videocassette.

Read Are You Good in Bed?

We have entered a new era in which loving yourself (or in this case, giving yourself some love) is where true happiness begins. In fact, scientific findings have proven that masturbation has most likely been practiced since the dawn of mankind. Don’t you think it’s time you got on board?

 After recently telling you what gadgets are essential to spicing up your sex life it seemed all too necessary to take a step back and explore the rudimentary components of self-satisfaction. “Masturbation leads to a greater sense of relaxation and overall well-being as well as self-love. This can enhance one’s day-to-day life both physically as well as psychologically,” says Dr. Rina Grafstein, P.H.D. and Clinical Psychologist in New York. Here are some methods that will make you more confident in your sex life by night, and put a twinkle in your eye by day.

Scented Candle

1. Set the mood with the MEMO Scented Candle ($39.95).  Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you should skimp on the romance. Seducing yourself is sexier when set to a backdrop of low lights and a flickering flame. This is partially because your pupils dilate, which often goes hand-in-hand with strong sexual arousal. Also, the bouncing shadows provide atmosphere. Warning: be careful of flailing arms and legs that could knock over candles. On the flipside, if you can turn yourself on enough to lose control of your limbs and start knocking things over, you definitely deserve bonus points.

If fire freaks you out scented oils are a good alternative. Nantucket Natural Oils ($2.50 per ounce) are a flame-free way to make your room smell and feel like a sexy oasis. “A pleasant scent helps promote the ‘relaxation response,’ which makes masturbation more effortless,” says Dr. Grafstein. Feeling sexy is all about feeling comfortable, so go for fabulous scented oils that put your mind at ease and your body in the mood.


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0 thoughts on “A Girl's Guide to Masturbation

  1. Ann13 says:

    This seems like a bit much.

  2. hope_xo says:

    This puts me in the 40 Year Old Virgin scene, minus the porn!

  3. jessica03 says:

    Mm interesting!

  4. FASAC says:

    finally! a woman bold enough to go there! i loved all of it and so will my friends!

  5. citymouse says:

    Love #4 — champagne is the answer to everything!

  6. phantomspots says:

    You might want to double check the blurb on your email newsletter about this… I think it’s still the one from yesterday’s acne article. When it says, “A Girls’ Guide to Masturbation: Keep breakouts at bay

  7. rubix123 says:

    I love it! Informative, interesting, and enticing. We will all be in a healthier state of mind and body with these tips.

  8. crazycatlady58 says:

    I find it is a great way to relax

  9. sweetheart7 says:

    I’m not going to go to all that trouble for something that can be accomplished in 5 min or less. With a partner, ok. Solo, nah.

  10. Phoenixwmn says:

    I don’t think this is an appropriate topic for a newsletter anyone of any age can access online; it sure wasn’t what I expected to see when I opened it. Further, I read this newsletter for celeb gossip ( a guilty pleasure), some beauty tips, what’s happening in the entertainment industry and occasionally fashion stuff. I do NOT expect to see articles about masturbation here. That’s fare better suited to Cosmo or an adult book. I don’t appreciate it being a lead article in this newsletter and I will cancel my subscription if I see more material of this nature. Frankly, the article reads as a piece done to showcase products which have paid for placement, certainly a way to finance this newsletter. Maybe you should care more about your readers’ sensibilities and less about the bank ?

  11. BootyParlorBlanca says:

    I LOVED IT!! I thought that its about time women start to see how mush self love affects our day to day lives. Plus if you don’t know how to LOVE yourself or what it is that you really enjoy, HOW will you be able to tell your partner? We need to be more confident in all aspects of our love lives.
    Enjoying a glass of bubbly while relaxing in the tub is a great tip! ..happens to be one of my fave!..get some sexy treats from BP, & create your ultimate ME time! lol!

  12. Asha777 says:

    With all due respect, the newsletter has many interesting topics of discussion in various sections of the online magazine. You happen to be in the “Love and Sex” section where these kind of articles fit and relate to issues women are facing. Masturbation, intimate satisfaction whether with or without a partner, is an issue for a lot of women. Since it is an issue, it should be addressed offering advice on how to make the experience better. And if not for that sole purpose, it should be addressed in purpose to bring women closer and more comfortable to talk about problems that are not “socially acceptable” as the norm= point proven.

  13. ImJack says:

    So Phoenixwmn, I guess phone sex is out of the question.

  14. Phoenixwmn says:

    Um, phone sex, ImJack, is private. Two obviously consenting adults doing what they please in PRIVATE. As for Asha77, maybe you didn’t get my point. The newsletter featured this on it’s OPENING page, NOT isolated in a love and sex section. Go back and look. BTW, I hardly need a poster on a random message board to explain to me the importance sexual satisfaction ( whether solo or in tandem) has for women, Dr. Brothers. I don’t regard this site as a credible resource for information on human sexuality; there are TONS of books on the subject, get one and get real information, not just a snippet composed to fill space and sell products in an e-newsletter, for pity’s sake. If you’re relying on THIS site to tell you about your own sexuality you’re in a whole lot more trouble than masturbation can take care of, honey.

  15. Scarlett says:

    I disagree that this is an inappropriate topic for this site or the newsletter. I’ve been reading Betty Confidential for over a year and this is pretty standard fare. It’s a site dedicated to things that women find interesting – from celeb gossip to clothes to frank discussions about sex. If you’re worried that just anyone could surf on in here…well, there are a lot worse things that they can find online.

    The people who write these articles might not be “credible” sources (ie: doctors), but that’s not what I look for when I read it. It’s just people having frank discussions about their experiences in hopes that it others may find something that helps them. You don’t need to be a doctor to know what feels good to you or the people you’ve been with.

    However, I did agree with the assessment that it felt like a lot of product placement and advertisements disguised as “advice.” It seemed pretty glaring when I read it and I found it annoying and a bit insulting. If you think I should light a nice smelling candle to get me in the mood, fine. But listing the link and price of an overly expensive candle reeks of advertising, which makes the advice seem much less sincere.

    In short: honest, insightful articles: good. Product placement that insults my intelligence: bad.

  16. slgeorge says:

    Wow can’t believe people got their panties in a bunch over this article! I assumed from the comments the article was graphic and detailed but its nothing! Gosh I thought we were all grown and to be honest they didn’t say enough. More please!!!!

  17. tinyt25 says:

    I have to agree with Ann13 and sweetheart7. “Being your own best friend” is a quick indulgence for somewhere such as the shower; not an act of seduction. Who’s got the time?!

  18. Girleee310 says:

    That’s the whole point of this article, ladies!!! MAKE the time, stop being lazy and take care of you. Lighting a candle and putting on a sexy outfit is fun! Sheesh

  19. lpfns says:

    Uh, if you don’t like the topic, don’t read it. Some of us are very open about our sexuality and enjoy articles that explore womens views on sex. I don’t think there’s any offensive about it. My sensibilities are not rattled by this.

    Also, product placement? everyone everywhere has product placement – It’s how we get to read and enjoy the articles on this site, it’s from those funds that they for the site and the journalists. Some of the links I actually like, I’ve found some great stuff and places that are pretty cheap. Its not like reading Vogue and having designer priced items shoved down your throat every page.

    I’m done. Just wanted to have Betty’s back on this.

  20. AYBAYBAY says:

    i dnt git how u masturbait if ur a GIRL seems disturbing

  21. charo says:

    Thank you sweetheart7!! I think if youre truly comfortable with yourself you can get the job done in less than 5 minutes (LOL). There is no need for all this nonsense if you are going solo!!!!

  22. charo says:

    AYBAYBAY, ARE YOU SERIOUS!!???

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