A Lament Over Jessica Simpson’s New Show
Our resident poet has some words of wisdom for the star of The Price of Beauty.
-Betty’s Poet Laureate
Oh, what has become of our dear Miss Jess,
You’ve gone from lovable ditz to one hot mess.
Lately you’ve sent all our tummies a turning,
When on live TV you’re crashing and burning.
In promoting your show, The Price of Beauty,
You’ve strayed off message, abandoned your duty
Here’s our first lesson regarding public relations:
Talk about your new gig, not your sexual frustrations.
For example, Jessica, when you appeared on The View,
The only topic discussed was boys you did or did not screw.
We concede, we did want to hear about John Mayer,
Then we did, now please move on, we no longer care.