A Tad Suspicious

A woman seeks a second opinion after her husband gives another woman a ride home.

What Would Debbie Do?

A Tad Suspicious

Dear Debbie,

About seven months ago my husband was at a sports bar, where a woman had been arguing loudly with her boyfriend. My husband stepped in, calmed her down, and drove her home. Later that evening he assured me that nothing had happened, but I don’t understand why he didn’t just call a cab for her. Also, why did he feel the need to tell me about it? I totally can’t get this out of my mind. How disrespectful is it to your wife to have another woman in your car? Why did he feel it was his job to be her saving grace? In my opinion, I think someone we know saw him so he felt he had to say something to me first.

Well my trust is at a ZERO at this point and I’m finding it difficult to play it cool. How would you feel if this happened to you?

–Wanting a Second Opinion

Dear Wanting,

I once had a boyfriend who gave a girl a ride home when her car broke down at the local coffee shop. He was always the one “saving” other women, coming to their rescue, seemingly professing to be the “good guy.” He’d lease a girl a car, help another one with her legal problems, offer to invest into another one’s business (he loved when someone was beholden to him), all the while never mentioning that he had a serious girlfriend. But the truth of the matter was that every time he did that, he had an agenda, because at heart, he was a duplicitous guy. 

My point is this: If intuitively, you know that your husband is the kind of guy who would use a vulnerable moment to take advantage of a situation, then you know that he had an agenda with this woman and you really have to ask yourself why you’d be with a man you cannot trust. However, if you know him to be trustworthy, loyal and true, then chalk it up to him being a gentleman, and leave it alone. You could tell him that in the future, it makes you feel uncomfortable, and you would prefer he keep his boundaries a bit tighter, but nonetheless, I’d give him a pass on this one, if indeed at the core he’s a good fellow. That’s what I would do.

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