Am I Just Wasting My Breath?

A woman seeks guidance on whether or not she should continue waiting around for a guy.


Am I Wasting My Breath?

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I was dating a guy whom I knew was ‘the one’ from the start. Since he was in the Navy and was stationed overseas it was more of a long-distance relationship, and we eventually went our separate ways. We had shared so much and it felt like I had known him my whole life, and when we did split I took it pretty hard. I started comparing every guy to him, and no one ever measured up. I finally got over him, met someone who had just gone into the Army, and made the mistake of getting married way too early.

Now, two-and-a-half years later, I am a single mother going through a divorce. My ex wants nothing to do with our son, and that has been a horrible realization. Recently I got back in touch with my old Navy boyfriend – who adores my son – but he’s been re-stationed down in Florida and I am in Pennsylvania. Emotions and memoires from our former relationship have come back into focus ever since we began communicating. He is all I can think about.

He is involved with someone else at the moment, but we recently talked about how we’re feeling and he confessed to still being attracted to me. Unfortunately we both don’t want a long-distance relationship, so we each feel helpless. I still feel like he is ‘the one’ to this day. My questions are: Should we do our own thing and see what happens once he gets out of the Navy in two years? Or is it all a waste of time to hope for anything other than friendship?

Matt: You can’t waste two years of your life waiting on something that may not happen. Stay friends, but continue to date others. If in two years things work out – great, but don’t live your life expecting that you’ll get back together – it would be very disappointing if that was your expectation and you didn’t end up together.

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