An Ode to Mariah Carey's Gold Dress

It seems that the singer's wardrobe is stuck in the '90s.
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An Ode to Mariah Carey’s Gold Dress

It seems that the singer’s wardrobe is stuck in the ’90s.

-Betty’s Poet Laureate

What has happened to you, our dear Miss Mariah,
You’ve turned from style icon to fashion pariah.

There’s something about that which does impress,
You’ve managed to spend two decades in the same dress.

You got this ensemble when married to Tommy Mottola,
Now you need help rebranding, like Toyota Corolla.

There’s just so much wrong with all this gold lame,
We saw the photos, shook our heads and said, “Oy Vey.” 

Read A Sonnet for Snooki

The skirts remind us of Launch My Line’s Merle,
But generally speaking, it makes us want to hurl.

We loved when you rocked this look in “Fantasy,”
Because that was cool back in the day, circa 1993.

We also recall a similar frock worn singing “Hero,”
FYI: There’s a pic on Wikipedia of you and De Niro.

(I must apologize for the above non-sequitur,
It’s just random, you with this actor/director.)

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