In Her Words
An Excuse to Cheat?
Are bachelor parties just one last fling?
When I was invited to my friend Fred’s bachelor party, I was initially reluctant to attend. I’m not a fan of strip clubs, kegstands, or the buddies-before-broads attitude that seem to be essential ingredients. But Fred told me his party would be different. For one thing it wouldn’t involve women taking off their clothes. It’d just be a bunch of us, sitting around drinking, celebrating his marriage.
So I said yes. Big mistake.
We met up at a local dive bar. For a while it was fun. I left my fiancé at home and was getting into the spirit of things – being one of the boys, buying rounds and talking trash. Then another friend of Fred’s showed up with a cute, extremely young, dark-haired girl. The kind of girl Fred would’ve lost his mind over had he been single. She definitely enjoyed being the center of attention. As she got more inebriated, she got flirtier. I went up to the bar to buy the groom a drink he so obviously didn’t need and when I came back, she was lapdancing him.
At first it seemed vaguely harmless. Then Fred started groping her ass as she wiggled her butt against his crotch. Most of the guys were staring slackjawed, except for one who was photographing the whole thing. I know Fred’s bride-to-be and I like her a lot. I watched in horror as he flipped the girl around and buried his head in her cleavage.
I marched over and hissed “STOP IT.” They didn’t and I left. I can only imagine how the night progressed from there. On second thought, I don’t want to imagine it.
Bachelor parties originated as a rite of passage as a man turned into a husband. Maybe back when men married in their teens or early twenties – to the only woman they’d ever slept with – this might have made some warped kind of sense. But today most guys have seen a boob or two besides their brides. Fred, for example, has slept with dozens of women and he’s been living with his bride for three years, so it’s not like he was a bachelor anyway.
I’m thinking it’s time to phase out the bachelor party. If not for everyone, at least for this bride-to-be. When I got home last night I was still furious. My future husband asked me if I was OK. “You are so not having a bachelor party,” I growled. He just laughed and said “no problem.”