Barack Obama is Betty's New Boyfriend

President Barack Obama is Betty's new boyfriend!

Betty Boyfriend of the Week

Who Else but … Barack Obama?

Don’t worry, we’ll share him

-The Bettys

Barack and Michelle ObamaIntellectual? Check. Handsome? Check. Powerful? Check. Married? Well yeah, there’s that too.

But we’re grateful to Michelle for sharing her man Barack Hussein Obama with the rest of us. Was there a dry eye anywhere in America on Tuesday afternoon? Politics aside, observing the way he and Michelle looked at each other – with so much pride and love for each other – made us just a little bit envious of their obviously still-strong romance. Watching them gracefully dance at the Inaugural ball had us reconsidering those ballroom dance lessons we always considered ourselves too cool to take.

Regardless of whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, this year’s historical Inauguration should make you incredibly proud of our country. Just 40 years ago there were parts of our country where African Americans weren’t allowed to drink from the same water fountains and now we elected a black man president. But even more than all that, at a time where our economy is in the crapper, millions upon millions of Americans are out of work, and our troops are severely overextended, Obama has restored our country with a sense of hope. Something we haven’t had in a very long time. For that we thank him and want to give him a big wet sloppy kiss. But in deference to Michelle, we’ll settle for a high five.

In the Dog house: How much did it cost to put your office together? I don’t know about you, but I sweated over my new $200 desk and $150 CB2 chair. For former Merrill Lynch chief executive John Thain, money was not something he concerned himself with. While his company floundered, he spent $1.22 million renovating his office – including $35,115 on what is billed as a “commode with legs.” Um, that’s a toilet, isn’t it?

Even as Merrill Lynch was hemorrhaging dough, Thain’s driver was paid $230k for one year’s salary. Obviously I need to rethink my career choices.

But most egregiously, when it became clear that his employer was about to be sold to Bank of America (who was being bailed out by the US Government in a goodbye gift from GWB), Thain moved up the bonus schedule, emptying what remained in the company coffers so that his overpaid cronies wouldn’t miss out on their annual extras. Though Thain was not one of the bonus recipients, he did manage to put his company in even worse shape just days before Bank of America acquired it.

For being the embodiment of greed on Wall Street, you, John Thain, are in the doghouse. We hope you get bit.

Last Week’s Boyfriend: Bruce Springsteen

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